Road Diaries: March For Life Where We Sidewalk Counsel

You know how a bunch of jerks screaming outside local abortion clinic isn’t ACTUALLY gonna fundamentally change people to your will (but is gonna scare and intimidate some people into not going in, which, you know, is entirely the point, obvs not helping). Well, we decided that today WE’D BE THE PEOPLE YELLING OUTSIDE THE BUILDING.

More specifically, we went outside the hotel where all the “March For Lifers” were congregating this morning and raised some hell. “You don’t have to go in there,” we yelled. “We love you, we have some literature here for you!” (We handed them our truly great zine designed by the amazing Jaye McBride, which we’ll share on here tomorrow after the Stork Ball tonight… more reports coming soon.) “God wouldn’t want you to keep lying.” “God loves facts.” “We’ll adopt your fiction and make it facts.” “Does your husband know you’re in there!?”

We think that at least a few people realized, “Hey, people yelling in front of where we’re trying to get into very annoying.”

One teen from her window tried to yell “Roe v. Wade has got to go” to us… but you know she couldn’t be as loud as us.

And then one 7 month pregnant woman came up to us and said she would do everything possible to protect her baby. AND WE SAID GOOD, WE ARE HAPPY YOU HAVE A WANTED PREGNANCY. But also maybe go to the climate change march if you’re having a new baby! We only have so much time to ensure Earth is habitable in 50 more years.

If you want to get in on the fun and call some people out come out with us tomorrow if you’re in DC to help us counter protest the March for Life! They’re full of hate and energy, we’ve got to show them we’re so so much more powerful! Or Come to our event at Eaton Hall where we’re watching “She’s Beautiful When She’s Angry” and hearing from a great panel of people!

“Heartbeat” Bills Are A Gross 2019 Trend

NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE! We hate when we see a bad trend developing but have no way to stop it. Just this Tuesday we wrote about the trend of heartbeat bill being introduced in states like Kentucky (and Ohio last year) and then told you to check to see if there was one coming in your state.

Well guess what, we can add two more states to the abysmal list: South Carolina and Florida both have politicians who filed fetal heartbeat bills this week! In South Carolina 50 representatives are co-sponsoring the bill. Make no MISTAKE these bills are total and complete abortion bans. They’re dressed up in treacly language to make them appear more “humane” but they’re actually entirely cruel and despicable. ROE WAS DECIDED AND REAFFIRMED, GUYS! Stop trying to go backwards!

Speaking of going backwards, we’re paying special attention to SCOTUS today as they decide whether to hear the fetal burial case in Indiana. Real quick: this would require burial and cremation for all fetal remains… even miscarriages. Remember how we asked “Are they gonna start considering SPERMS and periods people too” and it was like… a big joke? NOT REALLY A JOKE NOW. Just disgusting, and CRUEL TO PEOPLE WHO ARE TRYING TO HAVE BABIES AND HAVE MISCARRIAGES TOO. That’s the thing here, these people pretend to care so much about pregnant women and babies, but…. They consistently throw them under the bus in their single-minded quest to shame.

So watch with us and keep your fingers crossed to see which way SCOTUS goes. If it’s bad, we’ll be seeing you in DC this spring!

THE STATE OF REPRODUCTIVE RIGHTS IN THE STATE OF MICHIGAN

Welcome to the post-complacency world! The bad news is that it’s totally fucked up. The good news is that we can change that. We have to. We don’t have the luxury of not giving a shit.

There’s no place better to totally give a shit than Detroit, Michigan. It’s the first stop in the Vagical Mystery Tour’s post-Kavanaugh nomination-this-will-NOT-happen incarnation. And the State of Reproductive Rights in the State of Michigan has a lot to tell us about why we NEED to stop this Supreme Court appointment.

For starters, Michigan has the whole ugly slate of laws and rules designed to harass and torment clinics and patients alike. There’s a 24 hour waiting period that forces patients to make two trips to the provider. They have TRAP laws with unnecessary standards for facilities, and requirements for transfer agreements with hospitals. Telemedicine is prohibited ONLY for abortion services.

And the state of Michigan each year diverts some $400,000 in Temporary Assistance for Needy Families money toward FAKE “crisis pregnancy centers”—the LAST thing needy families need! Ugliest of all, Michigan requires you to buy a special “rape insurance” rider if you want necessary abortion services covered by insurance. Have fun talking to your broker about that!

Oh, and the Michigan anti-choice nuts are joining with anti-vaxxer bigger nuts! Republicans in the legislature are pushing a bill to try and use “informed consent” to scare people away from vaccinating their kids with vaccines made from what they call “aborted fetal tissue.” Some vaccines may contain what vaccine experts say is “perhaps billionths of a gram” of DNA fragments descended from cultures culled from legally aborted fetuses over 50 years ago! As much occurs in the fruits and veggies we eat! Really.

Already, 86% of counties in Michigan, accounting for 40% of the population, have no provider. And Michigan is one of the few states where abortion numbers are going up. That’s partly because neighboring Ohio is even crazier in its attacks on abortion rights. From 2010 to 2015, the number of abortions performed on out-of-staters in Michigan more than doubled. That’s just a taste of the panicked abortion travelers you’d see if a Kavanaugh court ever overturned Roe v. Wade.

And what you’d see in Michigan if Roe v. Wade gets tossed is a virtually TOTAL AND COMPLETE BAN ON ABORTION. IMMEDIATELY! That’s because Michigan’s anti-abortion law is still on the books, despite being made unconstitutional by Roe v. Wade. If Roe v. Wade goes, that law, dating back to 1931, rises from the dead like a zombie that feasts on human rights.

THAT is what is at stake in this confirmation fight! THANKS for making that clear, MICHIGAN! We’re here for you, we’re here for us, and we’re here for good!

Kavanaugh? How about Kava-not-so-fast, motherfucker!

LPJL DAILY TAKEDOWN – OCTOBER 30TH, 2017

America Keeps Stepping in Scott Lloyd, and Now He’s Stuck to Our Shoe

Scott Lloyd, the nasty Trump ghoul who tried to hold the pregnant immigrant girl hostage in an abortion reeducation unit, is still forcing refugees to submit to CPC brainwashing. The revelation is he’s on record urging “savvy lawmakers” to require women to get men’s permission for abortions.  Read the gruesome details in this vital piece from Business Insider.

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House GOP to Women: You’re Free to Have Your Abortion—Just Do It Yesterday

Just in time for Halloween, the House GOP has raised a horror show of a bill that makes abortion virtually illegal after 6 weeks. Even if by some miracle you KNOW you’re pregnant at that point, GOP economic policies will make sure you don’t have the money to get an abortion. This excellent article by Monique Judge of the Root explains the shit-splatter that this bill would cause.

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Fact Free Speech? Supreme Court Might Decide That CPC’s Have the Right to Punk You!

Trick or Treat? The fake CPC’s in CALIFORNIA are challenging a law that just requires them to let their hostages—I mean clients—know that such things as contraception and abortion even exist! Now that fight might be going to the Supreme Court—check out this article in the LA Times. Here at LPJL we’ve been working hard to Expose Fake Clinics that masquerade as abortion providers. We’ll see if SCOTUS is willing to stand up to them.

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More Lies! Roe v Wade Is No Big Deal—The States Will Be Happy to Police Your Uterus

The propaganda spew crew at the Federalist are once again propping up the phony notion that a repeal of Roe v Wade would just let those good friends of repro rights in the statehouses decide what happens in our wombs. Hello! Legislatures across the country are already passing laws banning abortion when such laws are unconstitutional! If they get the green light, that’s the end of abortion rights!
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Alabama Refuses to Be the Worst Place on Earth for Repro Rights

And finally, a little good news—and it’s from ALABAMA (of course!) A court has blocked a law against the safest and most common 2nd trimester abortion procedure and banning clinics near schools.  That kind of bat-shittery is par for the course in a lot of states, so it’s great to see a little less deep shit in the Deep South.  

LPJL DAILY TAKEDOWN – OCTOBER 19TH, 2017

Trump Fails to Impose The Handmaid’s Tale Scenario Inside His Gulag of Border Detention Centers… For Now

Good news! A judge said the immigrant girl whose story we’ve been following will FINALLY be allowed to have control over her own pregnancy. The girl wanted an abortion but Trump officials refused and sent her to a fake CPC clinic instead! The problem is that we’ve still got a string of rights-free “detention centers” lining our border. But the fight’s not over! The orange boy’s already fighting the decision with an appeal and y’all know his policy is always “Fail so long I can spin it into a win.”

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Trump’s Coming “DUH!” Moment—Less Birth Control = More Abortions

This great piece from US New explains that the shitbirds will be coming home to roost for Trump’s logic-free decision to fukup access to contraceptives for some 60 million women. There IS going to be an abortion surge. And that means God will send even more natural disasters to punish America, right? Thanks, Donald!

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Medication Abortion (FINALLY) Comes To Bloomington, Illinois! Meanwhile Indiana Hix in Stix Try To Nix That Fix

Bloomington, ILLINOIS finally has access to medication abortion, thanks to the Planned Parenthood clinic there! Read about it from Peoria Public Radio. No longer do patients have to make long trips to other cities in the state in 2017. Meanwhile, Indiana is stuck in 1917 and keeps trying to close even more clinics, as detailed here. Those Pence-ill-neck geeks think closing clinics is the way to reduce abortion. Indiana may be the epicenter of the Trump/Pence abortion boom!

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Slimeball Sequel! The Jagoffs Behind the FAKE Planned Parenthood Videos Are Launching a New Fantasy Thriller!

Get ready for a shit-storm! Anti-planned parenthood video fakers are working on a new release—just in time to feed Marsha Blackburn’s creepy campaign ads. Those media maggots used doctored videos several years ago to smear Planned Parenthood. They fuel lying shitsack politicians like Blackurn and Carly “Dancing Fetus” Fiorina.

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No YOU Shut Up! The Loudest Fucking People on Earth Are Screaming About Having Their Lying Voices Suppressed

Those lie-soaked Planned Parenthood videos are still poisoning the media environment! And the same high-decibel red-faced sidewalk screamers and ubiquitous online toad trolls are now whining in an editorial in The Hill that Twitter is “suppressing” their speech. Twitter wouldn’t even stop Marsha Blackburn from repeating the BLATANT LIES from the doctored PP videos!

LPJL DAILY TAKEDOWN – OCTOBER 18TH, 2017

Crazy Shit My President Says, Episode 1.6 Million: NAFTA Causes Abortion 

OK you HAVE to read this. The latest defective product hot off the assembly line at White House alternative factory is that the NAFTA agreement causes increased abortion rates—which is backed up by… the fact that they said it. It reminds you of the time Mike Huckabee saidabortion causes illegal immigration” Research tells them that everything they hate causes something else they hate. It’s called science.

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It Could Always Be Worse in Jacksonville—The Best and Worst Places for Repro Rights in the US

Turns out repro rights are like anything else—it’s all about location, location, location. And a new study from the National Institute on Reproductive Health on the best and worst places to have a uterus in America says if Jacksonville is the WORST! Also on the suck-list are places from Phoenix, AZ to Harford, CT (!) so it can be bad ANYWHERE. Hey, but respect to LA, NY, and SF for kicking ass in the top slots. And Austin gets special love for ranking high while still dealing with the bullcrap Texas lays on them. But there’s need for improvement everywhere. Check out this article in Quartz to see how bad you’ve got it.

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SHOCKER! New Analysis (and Your Own Eyes) Show Family Research Council Dirtbags Heart White Supremacy!

Rewire performs a public service by adding some scientific analysis to the blaringly obvious notion that the extremist Family Research Council shares tender feels with neo-Nazis and White Supremacists. These scumsacks are Nazi—er, mean nasty—opponents of abortion rights. Basically, they have built their entire brand screaming about the so-called abortion holocaust, while joining forces with the supporters of real Holocaust!

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“The Nuns Have Won!” Rightwing Giddy Over Nuns Winning Control of YOUR Reproductive Life!

Donald Trump’s DOJ just kicked all of America in its collective uterus. They settled with an ugly bunch of 70 litigants who were suing over Obamacare provisions to let women control their own bodies. And with his expansion of these creepy religious and morality exemptions, Trump just handed that control to even more holy trollers. As the National Review blared: THIS IS WHY they elected Trump! Spoiler alert: this fucking article is stomach churning.

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Less Education is More! —Anti-Choice Crusaders Want to Keep Doctors As Ignorant as They Are!

Here’s a must-read from NPR in Wisconsin about moves that would virtually destroy OB-GYN training at the University of Wisconsin just so anti-choice nutters can shut down abortion training. It’s part of a scary long-term trend that you need to read about here too. These snake oil salesmen are sneaky, they know that nobody can get abortions if nobody knows how to perform them. They think we aren’t paying attention, let’s prove them wrong.

LPJL Daily Takedown – October 17th, 2017

On This Beautiful Day of Anti-Choice Silence, Howz About “We” Don’t Shut Our Resist Holes

Today anti-choicers participate in the #ProLifeDayofSilence or, as we like to call it, a perfect Tuesday on Twitter. Wearing red tape over their mouths with the word “life” written on, their goal is to protest everyone’s right to body autonomy. So while we’re not sure how much attention they’ll get (because, you know, silencing yourself to make some noise is about as effective as reducing abortion by removing access to birth control, but I digress…) we thought today was the perfect time to #ShoutYourAbortion and use #LipsNotSealed to show that when it comes to defending reproductive health, we will never be silent!  

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Repro Rights Up For a Vote from a Group of Scrotum Danglers. Again.

Remember that 20-week abortion ban that sailed through the House but had “no chance” in the Senate? Guess fucking what. The Hill article in The Hill reveals it has 45 cosponsors and it’s going to be up for a vote in the Senate with no chance of passing. This wasted time could be spent on renewing funding for the CHIP program, you know, healthcare for actual children, but hey, “Why do something popular?” 

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Find Out YET ANOTHER WAY, Trump Is Attacking a Whole Series of Women!

Whether it’s grabbing pussies or forcing teenage immigrants to give birth, Donald Trump likes to attack multiple women.  We’ve been following the story of the pregnant immigrant girl who was detained at the border and then denied access to abortion care. This detailed Politico piece provides background—and it sure seems like “Hitting below the Belt” is the motivation behind every one of Trump’s policies. 

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Trump’s Border Policies Will Leave a Trail Of “Jane Doe” Victims

Seriously, all of these shit-spiteful anti-woman policies that the Trump administration is forcing on this country have REAL impact on REAL women. For every one “Jane Doe” immigrant girl detained in Texas, there are hundreds, maybe thousands more who are also denied care. This great Rewire piece has the story of another Jane Doe. This country needs to stop treating women in ways that force them to hide their names.

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When You Have an Extra Million Laying Around and You Use it To Fuck Over the Most Vulnerable

This must-read Rewire article tells how multi million anti- abortionaires in Maryland spent 7-figures trying to shut down one of the ONLY practices in the country that performs abortions up to and after 28 weeks. Some people NEED abortions later in their pregnancy so maybe spend that million on educating people WHY that is, instead of letting your thugnorance put their lives at risk.  

 

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 13th, 2017

Another Birth Control Denier Religious Nut Has Joined Trump’s Health and Inhuman Services Shitshow

RANCID STUFFING: The anti-choice juggernaut of repression has taken a big step forward in filling the eviscerated carcass of the Department of Health and Human Services, with a toxic stuffing of abortion opponents. We’ve been telling you how the Trump forces have steadily harassed the career professionals out of HHS and replaced them with a bowl of nuts like Charmaine “Abortion Causes Breast Cancer” Yoest and Teresa “Birth control is a hoax” Manning. The latest addition is new HHS senior lawyer Matthew Bowman, who argued a Supreme Court case AGAINST the ACA birth control benefits the Department is now supposed to be administering. Bowman represented Conestoga Wood Specialties, Inc. in a case heard by the Supreme Court alongside the notorious Hobby Lobby case, where the litigants claimed the Obamacare contraception mandate violated their rights to impose their religious beliefs on their employees. Bowman did that work as part of the  Alliance Defending Freedom which unleashes hordes of soulless attorneys to attack reproductive and LGBTQ rights. This troll has also made claims that I.U.Ds cause abortions and that contraception spreads measles. He’ll have plenty to talk about with Charmaine Yoest in the HHS cafeteria.

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“Aloha” Means Hello, Goodbye & Go Fuck Yourself To Anyone Who Wants to Lie About Pregnancy Options

AN ISLAND OF SANITY in the shark-infested waters of anti-choice lying, HAWAII has a new law requiring phony “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” to stop trying to trick pregnant people into thinking they don’t have options. Hawaii says that these nutteries have to post signs informing their customers/victims that the state offers “immediate free or low-cost access to comprehensive family planning services.” Of course, even that’s too much for the CPC’s. A lawyer from Alliance Defending Freedom (see the story above about one of their own now working at HHS!) says “Freedom of speech also means the freedom to not express views that would violate one’s conscience.” It doesn’t mean freedom to HIDE FACTS YOU REFUSE TO ACCEPT from people seeking medical care!

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Gov. Greitens Will Continue His Anti-choice Special Session, No Matter What The Cost (Over $73,000, To Be Exact)

MONEY FOR (WORSE THAN) NOTHING: We’ve been following MISSOURI’s Satanic saturnalia of anti-abortion pig vomit. The Show Me shits in the statehouse have been holding a special session for the sole purpose of fucking with repro rights and gutting regulations against discrimination. And the good folks of Missouri are paying for it in more ways than one. So far, it’s actually cost them $73,000 to have their rights shredded. It’s not cheap to house and feed the hungry, hungry hypocrites in the MO legislature!

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Iowa Congressman Steve ‘Cantaloupe Calves’ King Wants To Help Build Up The Border Wall, By Tearing Down Poor and Pregnant People

SHOCK AND YAWN! More from the Look-At-Me Lunatic Fringe. IOWA Congressman Steve “The Mad” King, in his never-ending quest to keep the rabid dogs of the far right barking, has come up with another of his “See how in-their-faces I am!” proposals/provocations. He wants to fund Trump’s border wall using (GASP!!) money taken away from Planned Parenthood and food stamp recipients (who he says are obese anyway.) Got it Steve! You’re a badass dude who’s sick of baby-killing feminists and uppity brown ingrates. Now, Steve King really is crazy, so it’s not an act. But it is a sad and tired performance that he seems unable to get booked anywhere outside of Iowa. Time to bring the curtain down!

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VAGICAL UPDATE

CLEVELAND! TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! The VAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR is taking over Mahall’s 20 Lanes!

Come out, bring a friend, and tell your friend to bring a friend!