Fake Clinic Motto: The Customer Is Always Right… Unless Of Course It Affects Me Negatively In Any Way

Imagine waking up every day and thinking “my job at this nonprofit  is really just about me.” Imagine going to work and thinking “I’m here to protect all the little zygotes, but really, this is just about me.” Because… that’s gotta be what people at CPCs think, right? Why else would they ceaselessly beat the drums of “my free speech is the most important thing in the world… not… you know… serving my patients. Not providing care. Not helping OTHER people. No no, what matters most is me being allowed to say whatever I want whenever I want to because that is what free speech is, also I refuse to look up what free speech is.”

It was the one-two punch of yesterday’s Catholic hospitals article and today’s article about fake clinics in Illinois that got us feeling super, super bummed. I mean look, we read about the deceptive practices of fake clinics all the time. They’re garbage. Their mentality has always been baffling. But the recent “free speech” arguments just are so… inhospitable. And frankly, so not Christian. These are people that are blatantly saying “our needs matter most… not the needs of those we allegedly serve.” AND the law is saying “Yeah sure.” And like… that’s disgusting. So anyway, that’s something to mull over this Tuesday!

The Rest of the News

Hey Democrats, How About We Don’t Say That You Can Believe Whatever You Want and Still Get to Call Yourself A Democrat, Just Because We’re Trying to Drum Up The Numbers

An Anti-Abortion Democrat, A Former Head of the American Nazi Party, and An “Independent” Walk Into A Blue State Election…

Sidewalk Screamers Try Desperately to Be “Cool” With the “Youths”


Silence, please! As you know, we here at LPJL are all about the LOUD, aka the aural equivalent of CAPS (sorry, didn’t mean to YELL.) But today, we’re advocating for silence in a number of ways.

First, we want to recognize the silencing of LGBTQ students. We can do that by participating in the GLSEN Day of Silence today, April 27. As GLSEN explains “The Day of Silence is a national movement to highlight the silencing and erasure of LGBTQ students in school, which demands that school leaders take action to be more inclusive.” Nearly a third of LGBTQ students miss some school due to feeling unsafe or uncomfortable. The Day of Silence is a way to support their voices and stand up against bullying!

Speaking of bullies, let’s talk about some anti-choicers! The second way we want to promote silence today is by pointing out that there are lot of nasty types out there who really need to STFU already. Like hater for lyfe Kevin Williamson. This was a guy whose claim to fame was tweeting out that women who have abortions should be executed by hanging, a position that’s extreme even by the hypocritical standards of the “pro-life” crowd. Although we have to admit, “String the varmints up!” is kind of tame compared to some of the poison that gets spewed by the nutcases chanting outside clinics. So who ends up publishing this monster? The Washington “Democracy Dies in Darkness” Post! Great. In a world where many people have to struggle to be heard at all, this turd gets a platform in the Washington Post to spew his vitriolic lies.

Finally, we really want to recommend silence for anyone who ever uses the term “litmus test” in reference to abortion and progressive politics. We’re not saying that people who are anti-choice should be silenced, but there is a time and a place for expressing their beliefs, and it’s called the 19th century. Support for abortion rights isn’t a “litmus test.” It’s a core value. Progressives have a big tent, but clowns are encouraged to go try the sideshow.

OK, we’re having trouble holding back on the CAPS KEY, so we have to wrap this up. After today’s Day of Silence, we’ll be turning the volume back up for more fun and NOISY events like this week’s #ExposeFakeClinics Interactive Theater and this summer’s upcoming Vagical Mystery Tour. See you there—LOUD & PROUD!


Cancer screenings and birth control? Not if they offend our delicate sensibilities. NEBRASKA is joining the list of states that are denying ANY funding to ANY clinic that also provides abortion services. Hello! Logic tells you that will endanger tens of thousands of women. And the experience of TEXAS tells you that too—where, yup, some 100,000 fewer women are getting cancer screenings after Texas defunded Planned Parenthood. Stupid has consequences! 


Here’s a heartbreaking look at some of the real world impact of the push to ban abortion in cases involving Down syndrome. Do anti-choice zealots care if their demands create heartache and trauma for families? Not if their rhetoric about eugenics and the Holocaust are any indication.


Open up! ARIZONA would like to conduct a brief survey in your uterus. Some AZ-holes in the legislature want to require women to explain the reason they want an abortion! If you think you must have read that wrong—then you read it right! Get the details in the New Times piece. This is truly batshit, Arizona! 


This great Rewire piece reveals a severe case of fetal attraction: a New Hampshire lawmaker just described seeing a kidney-beaned size fetus “running” and “playing” in the womb. She joins the Texas legislator who says he saw one masturbating. Funny stupid? Yes. Funny dangerous? More so. It’s part of their quest to attribute “personhood” to fetuses, zygotes, and any fertilized egg in general.


And here, Rewire lowers the boom on FAKE clinics with their kickass podcast Boom! Lawyered. With the big SCOTUS hearing on fake clinics coming up next week, this is the perfect time to get your inform on. Thanks, Rewire!