Tis the Season To Give

It’s no secret clinics face a lot of shit, day-to-day. Imagine going to work every day only to be yelled at and called names by an old man with a beard, and apparently tons of free time, or a mean-faced woman who invented being judgmental. Imagine spending all day helping people and making their lives better only to… again be faced with ridicule as you exit the doors.

Imagine if your job was constantly threatened, by people in power at all levels of government. Imagine that you see every day, the amazing impact your work has on people, and yet somehow, you’re constantly being told that it’s bad work and you’re going to hell.

We think it’s ridiculous that clinic workers aren’t told they matter – Every. Single. Day. We think clinic workers should be praised and rewarded for all they do, all the time. So this holiday season LPJL has created an “Adopt a Clinic” program, to show clinics we care. We’ve partnered with several organizations to donate blankets, underwear, heating pads, and more to clinics who need them!

Do you want to help us make some clinic’s holidays a little brighter? Well, you and a group of your friends can “Adopt a Clinic” by emailing our volunteer outreach coordinator: anna@ladypartsjusticeleague.com. Just remember to reach out because clinics don’t accept any gifts or packages from people they don’t know. WANNA KNOW WHY? Oh yeah, it’s because when they get suspicion packages they have to contact the police because they could contain bombs!

If you wanna help out by donating a blanket or sweatpants, then consider coming out to our Love Actually event, December 9th! Here’s the info where you can sign up to donate!

AND FINALLY if you can’t make the event, here are a few wish lists that you can donate to:

Mississippi Reproductive Freedom Fund Amazon Wish List

Affiliated Medical Services Amazon Wish List

Women’s Health Center of West Virginia Amazon Wish List

Thank you all for helping us help clinics!

This is the TRAP Law That Never Ends

Local elections, my friends, are so important. We know you know this, we know that you all voted (YOU BETTER HAVE ALL VOTED) but… we just need to reiterate it. Cuz the baddies on the state level… can be RULLL bad. Like, bad on a level that if anyone else did it you’d be like “Are you a legit villain?” Enter Oklahoma state senator Joseph Silk who wants to make “abortion” akin to homicide. And according to NewsOK the law stipulates that it MUST be enforced “regardless of any contrary or conflicting federal statutes, regulations, executive orders, or court decisions.”

Um… can you MAKE a law that says you don’t have to obey other laws?? Seems kinda… ridiculous. Seems like this guy will one day make a law that’s like “If Joseph Silk drives drunk, it’s not a DUI.” Honestly, props to this NewsOK writer who pairs this law with another proposed bill that would it legal to carry a gun without a license. Real cool priorities, guys.

This kinda nonsense leads to a Kansas man trying to argue that “life begins at conception” so the 15-year-old he was accused of raping was ACTUALLY 16 and therefore the age of consent. This story is ultimately just very sad, but but but… it does kinda show how ridiculous the idea that life begins at conception is. But we know no one on the other side will care about it because they only care about young women when they’re trying to pass bullshit bathroom bans AND NEVER when they’re actually raped.

And well, we’re sorry to have taken this to such a dark place. Hey, some good news: New York might not have a shitty, archaic abortion law soon!

That didn’t make you feel better? Well… that’s 2018.

Snakes on a Plain

Our friends at Whole Woman’s got some bad news outta South Bend yesterday! It seems that one of the most effective tactics the enemies of  abortion access has is bureaucracy and the tale of Whole Woman’s Health Alliance trying to open in Indiana is a great example. WWHA applied to open a MEDICATION ABORTION clinic there over a year ago. You know, medication abortion, the thing you SHOULD be allowed to do at home but for some reason can’t because big old male politicians think they are “protecting women” by making five doctors watch them swallow a pill. That’s like… their kink.

In the frickin’ year since Whole Woman Health Alliance applied for the license they’ve faced nothing but red tape! Their license got denied in January for… look it’s so boring, we fall asleep explaining it… but basically the health department didn’t know how organizations work. ZZZZZZZZ no stay with us, please, please! ZZZZZZ We promise it’s almost over there’s just a difference between for profit and not-for-profit ZZZZZ OK FINE LET’S JUST SAY IT WAS SOME BULLSHIT AND MAYBE A HEALTH DEPARTMENT SHOULD UNDERSTAND HOW ORGANIZATIONS WORK.

So it took until AUGUST for a judge to hear WWHA’s appeal. The judge was like “Uhhh, no duh, they should be allowed to open,” because, you know, she was logical. But then the Health Department appealed that and a three-person panel yesterday said WWHA’s license should be denied. Meanwhile the cat hotel next door can just BE A FAKE CLINIC.

Our video explains the nonsense HERE

The point is, it’s just so blatant that the health department does not give a fuck about helping people. This is all some kinda political nonsense perpetrated by people who’ve never had any power suddenly being able to flex on a … healthcare clinic. And it’s PURE GASLIGHTING. A phrase we’re gonna use now to describe all this red tape.


We’re sending all our love to Amy Hagstrom-Miller and Whole Woman Health Alliance this week. Keep fighting! You’re like the iguana in this video, we know you’ll make it out on the other side!

It’s Giving Tuesday, Y’all

It’s #GivingTuesday and so we are giving you, yes, a plea for money! You see, this year we took a bus at 2 a.m. to protest on the steps of the Supreme Court in the rain… And well, we assume we’re gonna have to do that a lot more next year. One of our co-workers got arrested TWICE protesting Kavanaugh in DC… and well, we assume we’re gonna need even more bail money. We beautified clinics, travelled over 4,000 miles, and helped gather volunteers in each state who will keep on protecting reproductive rights in their community. Oh, and we just started an “Adopt a Clinic” program that will donate supplies to places around the United States. We’re pretty excited about it y’all, email us if you want more info!

So give today because of all that! And give because even a federal judge agreed that TRAP laws are just gaslighting, but they’re still on the books all over the United States. Give because Ohio might pass a veto-proof 6-week abortion ban. Give because Iowa already did pass a 6-week ban. Give because West Virginia lost over $300k in Medicaid funding on election day and we’ve been amplifying their fund and getting the word out! Give because there’s a lot of fucked up shit going on out there, and we are on the ground day in and day out, fighting for reproductive rights! We won’t stop, but we need your help to really amp up our efforts in 2019. Maybe if you give enough we can go 8,000 miles next year!

Mississippi, This One Judge Is Pretty Cool

You know when you read something you’ve always known and felt in your bones, and it just feels so validating? That’s how we felt reading Mississippi judge Carlton Reeves writing about what an effing joke the 15-week abortion ban is. He writes, “In that spirit, this Court concludes that the Mississippi Legislature’s professed interest in “women’s health” is pure gaslighting.” YUPPPPP! TRAP laws are the most disingenuous things out there. A bunch of shitty politicians decide that like, it’s in the best interest of patients to wait just like, 9 months before they decide on an abortion… and act SOOOO upset when you’re like “Yeah, you’re actually not trying to help people.” And the dude not helping people (and appealing the judge’s decision)… is a DEMOCRAT! Can we make up some kinda folk song about how Mississippi Democrat is an oxymoron?

Speaking of people not helping, WHO are these effing scientists who agree to work with the anti-abortion Crusaders? You know how mad it makes you (and us) when you see all these sick babies because some anti-vaxxer was like “Guess we’re gonna reintroduce measles into the general population cuz we’re bad parents.” THAT’S ALSO how we feel about anti-abortion assholes who legit, don’t want us to cure Alzheimer’s and any number of diseases!

Speaking of people who are not helping (some more), all these protesters in Charlotte! You know what you could be doing that would be more fucking beneficial society… literally anything else. But yep keep harassing ONE FUCKING CLINIC, that’s def what God wants you to do. That makes… any sense. You know how in the Bible it says to not help the poor or those less fortunate, but to just yell at people in public? Oh wait, it DOESN’T SAY THAT???

“No Exceptions”

Ohio is really putting us through roller coaster of emotions this week? Except is it a roller coaster if it’s just all bad? So a bunch of people picked up an article about a potential Ohio TOTAL abortion ban that would criminalize abortion to the point that people looking for one would get a death penalty. And like, they’re right. That’s BANANAS!

But also Ohio ALREADY has a bananas bill on the books that PASSED THE HOUSE WITH 60 VOTES ALREADY! It’s almost-veto proof. And THAT bill says that abortion is banned after 6-weeks. That’s a total abortion ban. What do you expect us to just be taking pregnancy tests EVERY WEEK just to make sure? No one knows they’re pregnant then. And what is in your body is MOST CERTAINLY not a fetus with a “heartbeat” then. I mean, people who desperately want kids don’t even usually TELL people they’re pregnant that early because anything could go wrong then! And guess what… this bill doesn’t allow any exceptions for rape or incest! This bill is cruel to everyone, no exceptions!

And let’s be clear, “no exceptions” is a gross, obvious way to say “We don’t care about you.” A “no exceptions” rule shows that… you actually are not the compassionate person you claim to be. “No exceptions” means you want that fetus to have to go through ANYTHING to get out here and then NOT GET ANY MORE SUPPORT FROM THE GOVERNMENT! Just when it’s in the body, that’s when it’s real.

“No exceptions” sucks. Period.


Do We Really Gotta Talk About Science Again

Look y’all, not since we “failed to impress” in AP Physics have we thought “Oh look, let’s just throw our hat into the ring and talk about science.” Like, we took a job in comedy to NEVER have to talk about science. But… here we are.

So let’s be very clear: It’s fucking ridiculous that in the year 2018 (certainly one of the worst but still, you know, the present) there’s a measles outbreak. Look, we’d never casually be like, “Look, we know nothing about rockets, but let’s just start building this thing and THEN YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT TO SPACE.”

And still, extremists taking a quick break from screaming in the woods of Charlotte, North Carolina, have decided they’re ALL DOCTORS NOW and you have to take them seriously. Sure, they might understand nothing about birth control, but they’re decide life has begun as soon as you get splooged in, so dammit, if they own a company, you better believe they DESERVE to deny their employees healthcare. And you know in this country we care more about companies than human beings.

In Ohio the house has just all decided they’re scientists and that life begins when pain begins (GOTH scientists) even though… that is not true that the blob forming in your body can feel pain at that point and IT’S DEF not true it has a heartbeat, but… gah, now it closer to becoming law because 60 people voted for it in the House!

And we love that ACTUAL LIVE SCIENTISTS whose job is… LITERALLY TO CURE ALZHEIMER’S are now getting the same time with those in power as … a bunch of frickin’ idiots who’ve decided that stem cell research is bad because reasons. I MEAN IF WE WEREN’T ALL GONNA DIE FROM CLIMATE CHANGE, THESE ANTI-CHOICERS WOULD EFFECTIVELY BE KILLING GENERATIONS OF PEOPLE.

So today we’d like to say: don’t CASUALLY dip your toe into a thing you don’t understand and then be like “What I say should be law now.”


Sending All Our Love to Charlotte

We  wanted to send all our love this week to Charlotte! A Preferred Women’s Health Center of Charlotte is relentlessly under attack by 100’s of anti-abortion jerks, but it’s been really ramped up recently. And tomorrow the Orcs are planning a big protest of the clinic with “thousands of people” (in quotes because we hope they overestimate themselves). It’s a true nightmare for people trying to get care and go to their job to PROVIDE care.

We’re asking you to send all your love to Charlotte this weekend and to show your solidarity by sharing these images! We’re sure they’d love coffee and donuts too… but the truly fucked up thing is you can’t send them things because, obviously, they’re afraid that things they receive will be from anti-choicers trying to harm them. So if you do want to help more, please write to us and we can help you reach out about volunteer or donating!

And again, send your love online to remind the people who work there how much stronger the love is than the hate!