Daily Takedown

LPJL Daily Takedown – June 26, 2017

Conservatives fear the ability to fuck people over will not being allowed in Health Bill

RULES ARE RULES, and this one rules. Anti-abortion lunatics fear that Senate rules might not allow the Senate “health” bill to keep its ban on subsidies for any plan that covers abortion. Under a Senate rule known as reconciliation, all the provisions in the bill have to be mostly about the budget to avoid a filibuster. But anti-abortion parts are clearly all about FUCKING PEOPLE OVER and denying reproductive rights. If the Senate parliamentarian rules that the abortion bullshit IS just abortion bullshit, the bill is DOOMED unless they strip the anti-abortion language. This bill is a disaster either way, but it’s good to see conservatives forced to follow rules for once.

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Mike Moon and his Chicken Are Going Viral – In A Good Way

THE CHICKENSHIT HITS THE FAN: Mile Moon, the birdbrain MISSOURI lawmaker who beheaded and gutted a chicken in a Facebook video—BECAUSE ABORTION!—is actually facing some backlash. Turns out, killing things to illustrate you are “pro-life” is considered batshit among rational people. Since his one-man slaughterhouse  video has gone viral, two online petitions want Moon removed from office for his fowl behavior. Throw the cock out!

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BREAKING: Anti-Choice Lawmakers in Arkansas don’t Take Heed to Warnings, or Logic.

RAZORBACKLASH: Five extreme anti-abortion laws recently passed in ARKANSAS are being challenged in court before they can take effect.The ACLU is suing over laws designed to harass abortion patients and providers. They include everything from bogus “sex selection” bans to a law that would effectively require notifying the woman’s sex partner or parents! Red states pass these obviously unconstitutional laws by the truckload hoping that something will stick. All we can do is keep fighting back every time they try to stick it to us.

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North Carolina: “You Know Who DOESN’T Need  More Money? Faux-Health Clinics Lying to Pregnant People”

MONEY FOR NOTHIN, or WORSE than nothing! NORTH CAROLINA is going to THROW MONEY at “crisis pregnancy centers” – fake pregnancy centers created by religious extremists to DECEIVE and LIE to pregnant people in an attempt to coerce them out of having an abortion. Their evil brand is so tainted that now they’re calling themselves “Pregnancy Resource Centers.” It’s bad enough North Carolina tax payers currently fund these LYING, CHEATING MONEY-PITS to the tune of 300k a year, but now that number will skyrocket from $300,000 to $1.9 million! But fuck those elderly and disabled takers on Medicaid AMIRITE? We’ve got to take what we learn from faux-News and fund some faux-healthcare!

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Nothing Makes Liz Wolfe Angrier than Groups of People Speaking Out for the Rights of Humans

THE HANDMAID’S FAIL! The Wolfe-in-Columnist’s-Clothing is moaning about abortion rights protesters who evoke The Handmaid’s Tale, calling them “intellectually dishonest––and, frankly, deeply offensive.” WTF??? The show is about women being forced to serve as incubators—and “frankly,” that’s what the anti-abortion movement is about too! Wolfe howls: “As a pro-life secular feminist, being compared to oppressive religious zealots from a dystopian Hulu show strikes a chord with me.” It strikes a chord with everyone, Liz—Not be Captain Obvi but….THAT’S WHY IT WORKS!

VAGICAL UPDATE!

The Vagical Mysterty Tour took a short RnR at the halfway point!

Lizz Winstead spoke to the Democratic Mayors Association  in Miami over the weekend, told some jokes, and then told them their local clinics needing all of their support. The tour might take a break, but spreading the message of reproductive rights never stops!

Kicking back up again in Chicago tomorrow night with Alonzo Bodden, K’Valentine, Joyelle Johnson, Leah Bonnema, Dina Nina Martinez, Lizz Winstead and special guest, DR. WILLIE PARKER!

 

 

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