LPJL Daily Takedown – 5/26/17

  Republican Lawmaker Advocates “STERILIZING Women As A Condition For Receiving Food Stamps”

(Democratic Moms)

This AZ-HOLE wants to force women to CHOOSE BETWEEN FOOD AND FERTILITY! Former Arizona lawmaker Russell Pearce says “we need to limit food stamp access to women who have been sterilized,” because “that’s the only way of separating the ones who are willing to work for food from those who aren’t.” Human gila monster Pearce was the author of the notorious anti-immigrant “Papers Please” law in Arizona. Now he also wants to block anyone from entering Arizona through a poor person’s birth canal! Russell Pierce doesn’t just want to occupy your uterus, he wants to shut it down.


Kansas Houses passes bill requiring women get more information before an abortion

(The Kansas City Star)

KANSAS SHITTY! ”Transparency” bill is transparently bullshit. Kansas lawmakers think women are idiots–they’re foisting a modified trap law on them under the guise of giving them more “information.” The bill requires that women who want an abortion first be told routinely available information like what year a doctor got their degree or even if they’re a Kansas resident. And it MUST BE on white paper with black ink in 12-point New York Times font! Because ladies can’t handle Calibri! This is about harassing providers, not protecting women.


Anti-abortion license plate now only needs Snyder’s OK 

(Detroit Free Press)

IF YOU CAN READ THIS YOU’RE CLOSE TO LOSING YOUR RIGHTS. Now Douchebags in Michigan can proclaim their douchebaggery right on their license plate! A bill waiting to be signed by the governor will give drivers the option of a “Choose Life” license plate–which is more choice than the “Choose Life” bigots would give women. Oh, and the proceeds from the plates end up on the plate of anti-abortion groups including “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” that lie to pregnant women and girls about what they do. Now Michigan lets drivers FUND A FUCKWAD!


Hot take! Mock facts to push your fact-less patriarchy!

NEWS-BLUSTER– The bluster-fucks at Newsbusters are out with their trademarked combo of mockery and mock facts. This time they want to belittle and deride the fact that–in the richest country in the world–the maternal death rate has gone up over the last 25 years. It’s been shown that one of the main reasons is lack of access to healthcare, including abortion care. But the Bluster-Fucks would rather mock the experts who call out their lies because facts have such an annoying way of derailing crossing things off of their creepy Handmaid’s Tale bucket-list.


This is what it looks like when you look outside of yourself and take a stand so women won’t die. We should take a page from Chile. 

(Deutsche Welle)

Pushing back all over the world! If you want some inspiration about continuing to resist when things are bad, take a look at the She-roes who are leading the fight for abortion rights in Chile. Chile is one of six countries where abortion is illegal FOR ANY REASON, including rape, fatal fetal deformities, or even to save the life of the mother. This is what it’s like when you look outside of yourself and take a stand so women won’t die–no matter how dire the circumstances. Thank you, Chile!


#VagicalMysteryTour Update!!

Check out this vid and read about last week’s trip to Fort Worth! We’re thrilled that we got to help beautify Whole Woman’s Health, perform alongside hilarious comics, host a talkback with Shift. and Tea Fund, and connect over 80 people with these amazing organizations! Next stop: Atlanta. Ya’ll ready for this?

LPJL Daily Takedown – 5/25/17

Does an HHS appointee believe abortion increases a woman’s risk of breast cancer?

(Washington Post)

The Yoest infection returns! The WAPO fact-checks Trump’s HHS assistant secretary Charmaine Yoest’s totally debunked BULLSHIT claims that abortion increases the risk of breast cancer. The Washington Post just gave her an opportunity to set the record straight, and Yoest chose to let it remain a twisted mess. We can’t have high-ranking health officials who believe lies and intentional fairy tales about abortion.


Texas Bill Could Send People to Jail for Driving a Woman to an Abortion, Lawmaker Says

(Texas Observer)

Texas is approaching CRITICAL MESS! As this Texas Observer article highlights, the assaults on repro rights by Lone Star lawmakers are constant, and consistently insane. Now they want you to go to jail for driving someone to get an abortion. FOR REAL! Texas is the world’s 12th largest economy, and it’s WAY to full of incredible people and places to be forever ruled by the this cabal of thick-necked theocrats.


Interstate Abortion Ban Could Slow Human Trafficking

(One News Now)

Lies My Lawmakers Told Me: the latest lie the MYTH BOOSTERS in the “Pro-Life” camp are up to is a bill before the Senate that tries to keep minors from LEGALLY accessing their abortion rights by claiming to be targeted against “human traffickers and child molesters.” LIES! Here’s Iowa’s Steve King defending dogfighting (!) using a similar argument. On it’s lying face, the bill prohibits transporting minors across state lines for an abortion. What it really does is to try and trap young women who are in states where abortion is illegal. As we look at the possibility of states with NO PROVIDERS AT ALL, we can see what their next step in shutting down access will be.


Even in Blue-State California, Abortions Can Be Hard to Find


QUIT SAYING YOUR STATE IS BLUE! ! NO state is blue enough to feel complacent about abortion rights! Anti-choice fuckery has consequences everywhere. This great story highlights HUGE CLINIC CLOSINGS in California. And nationwide crusades against repro rights mean that clinics are closing everywhere. Remember–the people who want to fuck with your abortion rights don’t care if your uterus is in in Massachusetts or Missouri–THEY WANT IN!


Catholics Challenge St. Louis’ ‘Abortion Sanctuary’ Law

(U.S. News)

One man’s “Religious Freedom” can be one woman’s violated Constitutional rights. The Roman Catholic Archdiocese of St. Louis is resisting a city anti-discrimination ordinance that prohibits housing or employment discrimination for people who have had an abortion, plan an abortion, have heard of abortion, or filled out a crossword with the word abortion in it. Seriously! The Archdiocese wants anyone to be able to deny employment or housing to anyone who advocates for “reproductive health”! So that uterus hat can get you evicted in St. Louis!  And it’s all in the name of “religious freedom!”

LPJL Daily Takedown – 5/24/17

Trump Wants to Slash All Federal Funding for Planned Parenthood (Bustle)

SHITSTORM ALERT! The proposed Trump administration budget is bad for everyone–and worse for women. It reads like a sadistic fantasy dreamed up in the bowels of some right-wing, anti-abortion, anti-women stink tank. It ELIMINATES ALL funding for Planned Parenthood. It converts Medicaid to block grants fucking DESTROYS MEDICAID, and it would put the cost of birth control and much of women’s health care out of the reach of many women. These are literally the most inappropriate appropriations ever proposed. It’s is more like a declaration of war than a budget proposal.


Onslaught of Anti-Abortion Laws Approved in Texas (Courthouse News)

UPDATE ON THE REPRO-CALYPSE! The transformation of the once-great state of Texas to Dystopia is moving along rapidly. Texas lawmakers theocrats have passed a bill to do everything from mandate burial or cremation for fetal remains to outlawing the safest 2nd trimester abortion procedure. Texas women donned outfits from “The Handmaid’s Tale” to salute Texas’s steady march to the dystopian future.


Listening To Post-Abortive Women Can Never Justify Abortion (The Federalist)

We were waiting for a response to this NYT opinion piece about listening to people who have had abortion and this Crackpot dude from The Federalist did not disappoint. THESIS: “Only listen to women who regret their abortions, not women who don’t. He then proceeds to discredited actual facts with fake scientific studies, manufactured by discredited quack organizations. WHY YOU NEED TO CARE: It is posted in a supposed legit conservative website. We need to know what they’re saying so we can fight back!


D.C. Restaurant Thought This ‘Pill Cosby’ Cocktail Was a Good Idea (Huffington Post)

How many Yelp reviews will it take for the place to be held accountable? One? Two? Maybe fifty?


Access to Birth Control Is Not a Religious Debate (Motto)

REPRO-JUSTICE MIC DROP FROM Jessica González-Rojas! (Not to be confused with the Jessica (Williams) below).

Here’s a great slap in the smug face of everyone who tries to make access to birth control into some kind of debate over morality or “religious freedom.” It’s a great opinion piece spelling out–for those too bigoted to understand–just why birth control is a matter of economics–pure and simple, stupid.

The LPJL Daily Takedown – 5/23/17

Catholics Challenge St. Louis’ ‘Abortion Sanctuary’ Law (US News/Associated Press)

In Missouri, “Show Me State” anti-choice zealots are busy showing everyone what assholes they are. A group of St. Louis Catholics are suing the city over an ordinance that prohibits discrimination against people who have had an abortion, or who use contraceptives, or who get pregnant outside of marriage–or what most of us just call “PEOPLE”!!! These St. Louis arch-fiends want the “religious freedom” to throw you out of your apartment for using condoms!


Trump’s Abortion Policy Isn’t About Morality – It’s Coercion (Rolling Stone)

The Trump administration’s fuck-nuts expansion of the global “make-me-gag” rule now forces the right’s anti-abortion crap down INTERNATIONAL women’s throats. And of course, it’s the most exposed throats–the throats of poor women around the world. Just like with TRAP laws in the US–they can’t fool you into thinking abortion is wrong, so they’ll just make it unavailable.


Right-wing attacks on Planned Parenthood are working: Clinics close in Iowa, cutting off low-income women from services (Salon)

Conserva-twits in Iowa have found their own ways of getting around last year’s Supreme Court decision that supposedly safeguarded abortion rights. These Corn-holes have a law that prohibits Medicaid patients from getting even non-abortion services from any clinic that offers abortion. 4 out of 12 Planned Parenthood clinics in Iowa have been forced to close, and that’s Plain Wrong.


The Last Clinics (Vice)

Seven states (SEVEN!) have only one abortion provider left. Not only are anti-choice creeps bad at science, their sense of Geography is as bad as the acting in a popular 90s soap opera.


Pregnant at 18. Hailed by Abortion Foes. Punished by Christian School. (NYT)

Thanks for deciding to have your baby–now get out! 

What do you get when you get into bed with anti-choice Christian hypocrites? YOU GET FUCKED! That’s what an unfortunate Christian School student in Maryland learned after she got pregnant. She went along with the doctrine of the school and didn’t pursue her right to an abortion. So as a punk-ass “thank you,” the school kicked her off the student council and barred her from graduation ceremonies. These “pro-life” dicks are shaming the very people they browbeat into believing their crap!

Waiver Goodbye

The state of Texas is hoping that, under the Trump administration, no bad deed goes unrewarded.  

You see, the Lone Star State crapped all over reproductive rights–and now it’s asking the Trump administration to force taxpayers to pick up the bill… while leaving the crap where it is. Four years ago, Texas lawmakers thumbed their snotty noses at millions of dollars in Medicaid funds just so that they could exclude any abortion provider from their state’s family planning program.

By booting abortion providers from the program, Texas forfeited federal funding. And the feds were paying for 90 percent of the program. So no surprise, now Texas is facing a $2 billion budget shortfall. So they’re asking the Trump administration to grant them a waiver and give them the money anyway–$300 million of it–while still refusing to let any provider that supports abortion give family planning help to Texas women.

And Texans need that help. The application itself noted that Texas has the nation’s highest birth rate, a full half of which were paid for by Medicaid. A third of pregnancies in Texas are unplanned. And of course, Texas has of the highest teen birthrates of any state.

And–DUH!–it’s gotten a lot worse since Texas forfeited the Yankee dollars. According to the University of Texas, claims for injectable contraceptives fell 31.1 percent and Medicaid-covered childbirths rose 27 percent since Texas kicked abortion providers out of the program. That’s a pretty fucking high price to pay just to screw over any family planning agency that supports abortion rights–and it’s the poor women of Texas who are paying that price.

Of course, all of that self-inflicted pain goes away if Texas just allows any willing provider to provide. HELLO–they’re willing! But NO, instead these LONE STAR BONEHEADS are asking the Trump admin to give them the money anyway. And if it works, you can bet that every state as backwards as saxeT will want the same treatment.
If you think this is a big stinking pile of steaming Texas steer-shit, then MESS WITH TEXAS! State officials are accepting comments on the draft waiver request through June 12. And if you’re in lovely Lubbock at the time, there’s a public meeting to debate it on June 9.

The F.A.C.E Don’t Wanna Hear It.

ICYMI: This past saturday,  Ten anti abortion extremists were arrested in Louisville KY, outside the last remaining abortion clinic in that state.

Apparently, these “nothin-better- to-dos” think accessing an abortion should be more like “Ultimate Beastmaster” than just… idk… walking in a clinic on time for your appointment.  

Why do I know all of this? Because it was plastered all over CNN and MSNBC? Yeah, Right. Nope, I know it because I was there, volunteering as an escort at the clinic and it was batshit so I wanted to give you an idea of what the day was like and let you know how YOU can help.
NOTE: All of the statements, opinions, comments, typed sequences of letters that form words are my own. I do NOT represent or speak for the EMW escorts or the clinic.

By 6:00 am horrible protesters had already begun to gather. By about 7:30 the sidewalk was lined with roughly 100 of them, carrying massive signs of medically inaccurate, shame-y information and images. The roughly 30-40 escorts were also getting in place too, trying to hold space around the entrance. And all of us were being subjected to the super christian-y prayer music blaring from the speakers they had set up right outside the clinic doors.

The clinic opens at 8:00am and things are non-stop until all of the patients are settled in the clinic which is generally about 9:30am. We got the word that the doors were open so a fellow escort and I began walking a woman from her car to the clinic. As we approached we noticed that the crowd wasn’t really paying attention to us. It looked more like a mass of crazy fans trying to snap a pic of the cast of Hamilton leaving the backdoor of the theatre.

Once we got close, we realized that a group of protesters had crossed the property line and were sitting, physically blocking the entrance to the clinic.

The frustrating part was that, we ended up cornered by the door having to watch as the police handled the situation. While this was happening, two other escorts and I were forming a wall between the patient and the madness.

Eventually it did happen and they carted off ten protesters and NO APPOINTMENTS were missed.

The entire time I couldn’t help but think how the officers were completely misplaced in being respectful to these people breaking the law when the person behind me is the one being denied access to their totally LEGAL HUMAN RIGHT! Not once did any of the eight officers acknowledge the patient as we stood there for what felt like the longest ten minutes of my life.

Eventually it did happen and they carted off ten protesters and no appointments were missed.

Hear that? Talk to the hand cause the F.A.C.E. don’t wanna hear it.

That’s F.A.C.E as in the Freedom of Access to Clinic Entrances Act which was signed in 1994 by President Bill Clinton after violence against abortion providers and reproductive healthcare facilities began to spike.

Which if you want to understand real domestic terrorism you’ll take a gander at the The National Abortion Federation’s tally of all the reported violence against abortion providers.

The scary part here is that this isn’t the end. These people are holding their super FUN-damentally fucked up national convention outside the clinic from July 22-29th. Over 5,000 people have been invited to make the trip and join in on the harassment.

Let’s do the math-  Of all the people that click “attending” on your Facebook invites, how many actually show up? Even if only 10% attend, that means things could be even more batshit than last weekend.

There are so many ways to support this movement. You can become an abortion doula, volunteer for an abortion fund hotline, plan an event to benefit your local clinic, call your senator and tell them you support access, send postcards of support to providers or help fight stigma and shame by talking about abortion in your daily life.

For me, clinic escorting is probably the most rewarding. I love it. I think it feeds my soul. I’m tall and big and I think my body is built for it. Meaning, I can be the totally non-engaging bodyguard providing a source of comfort alongside a patient encountering protesters for the first time.

Luckily, the clinic has an amazing team of dedicated escorts that are out there every day. They are organized and fucking ready. These people rock. Some of the people on their team have been doing it for over 15 years. I am a measly little newbie. I’m so insanely honored that they have let me join them.

DONATE TO THEM! They need your support to be ready for this onslaught of extremists in July.

The anti’s incessant desire to shove their flagrant beliefs down the throats of others through shame and stigma is why I stand on the sidewalk and it’s one of the HUGE reasons Lady Parts Justice League is hitting the ground for two months this summer on our Vagical Mystery Tour, so we can help amazing escorts in 16 cities breath a little easier and work to grow their community support.

Join us along the way! We can put you to werk!

Data Bunk

Texas Republicans refuse to allow Texas HB 2 to die.

HB 2 was the notorious Texas Trap Law that the U.S. Supreme Court shot down in the landmark Whole Woman’s Health v. Hellerstedt ruling. In tried and true trap law fashion, HB 2 tried to use bullshit and pointless regulations to shut down abortion clinics in Texas. And it succeeded like gangbusters, until the Supremes finally shot it down.

Now, conservative Texas lawmakers are trying to come up with more insidious ways of harassing clinics and the women who need them. A bogus bill moving through the Texas House right now is designed to undermine the ability of clinics to function by forcing them to keep and report pointless and redundant data. They’re trying to strangle reproductive rights with red tape!  

HB 2962 requires abortion clinics and other abortion providers to report painstakingly detailed data on any complications that arise during or after an abortion. Texas state laws ALREADY require that providers must report the type of abortion that had the complication; the gestational age of the fetus, the date the complication was treated, and the reproductive history of the patient.

This new bill now requires doctors to report complications to the state within 72 hours. It makes state Health Department develop an electronic system for providers reporting abortion complications, and report any doctors in violation of the reporting requirements to the Texas Medical Board. Oh, and doctors must ALSO report the woman’s age, race, marital status, county and state of residence, and even the date of her last menstrual cycle!

And of course all of this is in COMPLETE DEFIANCE of statistics that show abortion is MUCH SAFER than everything from tonsillectomies to vasectomies to wisdom teeth removal!

The bill is the brainchild of Rep. Giovanni Capriglione who made headlines by trying to force State Senator Wendy Davis to personally pay the state of Texas $800,000 to cover the cost of a special session–a special session that Governor Rick Perry called after Wendy filibustered HB 2! Class all the way, Giovanni!

Give the Tex-ASSHOLES who came up with this credit: their scheme drowns clinics in red tape, while forcing them to provide statistics that will undoubtedly be twisted and misrepresented to portray abortion complications as commonplace. Note that nobody is asking for this kind of reporting on Viagra-related mishaps!

In the Realm of the Senseless

Over half of the people who can get pregnant live in states with abortion laws that fly in the face of science. That’s right–if you’re a person of childbearing age, there’s a 53% chance you live in a state with intentionally idiotic laws telling you what you can or can’t do with your body.

That’s just one of the mind-fuck statistics in a new report from the Guttmacher Institute. The study found TEN (count ‘em–10!) categories of abortion restrictions that have ZERO basis in science.

Not to mention common sense. Or common decency.

They broke these shit-show laws (not their term) into three categories: TRAP laws designed to shut clinics down with bogus “safety” rules, useless and hypocritical laws that require waiting periods and/or mandatory counseling before a person can have an abortion, and phony “fetal pain” laws that contradict all the actual medical science on the subject.

Over half of the uterus havens in America live in states that have at least two of these scientifically bogus abortion restrictions. 30% live in states that have five or more of the Terrible Ten!

And–NO SURPRISE–the lowest circle of Reproductive Rights Hell is reserved for those who live in Texas or Kansas. Both states have eight of the ten anti-science laws–AND they both have another two of the laws currently being blocked by a court order. That means Texas and Kansas both have ALL 10 scientifically bogus laws! Two-way tie for last!

Many of these laws don’t just ignore science, they gleefully contradict it. Six states require that anyone seeking an abortion be told that abortion has serious mental health consequences, something that’s been disproven by countless studies.

It’s no surprise that abortion laws in so many states are witches’ brews of lies and misinformation. As the Guttmacher report points out, we live under a presidential administration that Trumpets “alternative facts.” The official spokesperson for the Department of Health and Human Services is a woman who claims against all evidence that abortion causes breast cancer, IUD’s have “life-ending properties,” and birth control doesn’t reduce the number of abortions.

You can’t make this shit up. But they keep on doing just that.