LPJL Daily Takedown – July 19th, 2017

Professional Stalker David Daleiden #CantStopWontStop Spreading Lies

UTTER CONTEMPT: Slimeball propagandist David Daleiden has just been held in contempt of court for continuing to release illegally obtained and heavily tampered-with videos. Da-LIE-den is one of the vidiots from the so-called Center for Medical Progress who released tapes in 2015 that were doctored to indicate Planned Parenthood was selling fetal remains. The tapes were shown to be bullshit and PP was cleared of any wrongdoing. And now this virtual stalker is charged with 15 felonies for secretly recorded videos—videos that his lawyers CONTINUE to publicize in defiance of a court order. All of the illegal activity involving these tapes has been committed by Daleiden and the people who made them!  

***

 Not Real Science 101- An Intro to “Abortion Reversal”

REVERSE ENGINEERING: Anti-abortion myth-makers have been busily concocting another lie to foist on the public—one that we at LPJL have been warning you about. It’s the pseudo-scientific turd pie of being able to “reverse” medication abortions by intervening in the 24 to 36 hours between the taking of the two pills that are used in the procedure. The “science” behind reversal is anecdotal quackery being pushed mostly by one obsessed doctor. But thanks to his fairy tales, now 10 states require abortion providers to LIE TO PATIENTS and tell them that medication abortions can be “reversed.” Anti-abortion scammers are hiding behind fake science the way they hide behind phony efforts to “help women” with TRAP laws that only harm patients. If anti-choice people had anything good to say, they could say it without hiding behind lies. 

***

Helping #ExposeFakeClinics: A Tutorial

The More You Know, The More You #ExposeFakeClinics

DON’T GET FAKED OVER by fake clinics! And learn how to expose them to protect others! July 17 to 26 is Expose Fake Clinics Week, where we shine a light on the anti-choice maggots under the slimy rock of deception. Fake clinics are those “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” (CPC’s) that fool people seeking abortion services or information into thinking they’re an actual medical facility. Then the unwitting victims are deluged with lies and shaming designed to pressure them out of making their own decisions. And of course these shame-mills are generously funded by your tax dollars in many states. Texas alone has thrown millions to these scamsters. LPJL IS FIGHTING BACK AGAINST THESE HORRIBLE PLACES, in fact check out yesterday’s protest in Pittsburgh in our Vagical Mystery Tour update below to see what LPJL is doing to fight back! 

***

Land of the Semi-Free, Home of the State by State Attack on Repro Rights

STATES OF EMERGENCY! While most of the media is transfixed by the shit-show going on in Washington, the real work of building an evil empire of theocratic hate and misogyny is going on at the state level. And reproductive rights are a prime target. In 2017 alone, 28 states have tried to put more restrictions on abortion, with many of them aiming to eliminate it entirely. Even Texas, which had their HB2 slapped down by the Supreme Court, went right back to more weasel-work to undermine abortion rights. There are efforts all over the country to ban the safest and most common 2nd trimester abortion procedure, force fetal tissue “burials,” and make it harder for minors to exercise choice. And taxpayer money continues to be wasted on fake clinics and abstinence programs. That’s why LPJL works tirelessly to inform you about what’s happening in YOUR state! 

***

From the Antis: Can You Believe Planned Parenthood Thinks Even SEX WORKERS Deserve Healthcare?

TRAFFIC SCAM. Jeezus! Is there any depth anti-abortion hate-mongers won’t sink to? They try to smear abortion care providers as abetting sex trafficking when the providers offer possibly life-saving care to sex workers, including those who may be caught up in trafficking. These ghouls send undercover “journalists”/stalkers to clinics posing as pimps. When the clinics offer to help the victims, they’re portrayed as being involved in “underage sex trafficking.” I guess the “pro-life” approach would be to cast them out for their sins and let them rot with whatever medical problems their victimhood has caused them. Compassion means care, not judgment, dickwads! 

***

VAGICAL UPDATE!

Our LPJL Pittsburgh stop has gone next level as we #ExposeFakeClinics

Spoiler Alert: Fake clinics hate when you come armed with facts – especially when those facts come from badasses in costumes

Check out the fun we had here and once you’re all riled up – come to Mr Smalls TONIGHT, doors 7pm!

    

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 18th, 2017

Just Another Tuesday: More Unconfirmed Science and Shaming Tactics

REMORSE CODE: Here’s the latest on the much-hyped “abortion regret” meme. As we’ve been telling you for some time, anti-choice crusaders love to push the lie that that there is widespread regret among people who choose abortion. And they like to use a scientifically bogus “abortion pill reversal” myth to frame their scheme. A San Diego doctor claims that he can “reverse” the increasingly popular medication abortion procedure after the patient has taken one pill of the two-pill process. There is a lag of one to two days between taking the pills. Here are the facts—he can’t. A certain percentage of abortions will fail in any case if the second pill is not taken. And here’s another fact—abortion patients do NOT change their mind halfway through. And the whole notion of “abortion regret” is being cynically manipulated by anti-choice people. Certainly there are a lot of conflicting emotions involved in any major life decision, but actual studies show that by far the most common emotion following an abortion is simply relief. The Anti’s need to stop trying to replace that relief with regret through their shaming tactics. 

***

The List of Things That Hurt Pregnant People Is Getting Super F*cking Long

COUNTRY MATTERS: If every pregnant person deserves the right to choice, then those that choose to go through with their pregnancy deserve the right to accessible and affordable maternity care. And increasingly, that’s just not available in rural areas. Due to declining population, 80 rural hospitals have closed since 2010, and over 200 maternity wards shut down between 2004 and 2014. Over half of rural counties in America don’t have hospital-based obstetrics. Mothers have less access to prenatal care, and the US infant mortality rate is the worst among developed countries. We need to value motherhood by making it voluntary AND safe for those who choose it!

***

Iowa’s Motto: Our liberties we prize and our rights we will maintain (but not for women, duh)

CRUSHING WAIT: Legal teams defending abortion rights in IOWA have a message for conservative lawmakers in that state—they be trippin’ if they think they can force those seeking abortions to make multiple trips to the clinic. Iowa has imposed a 72-hour waiting period for abortion procedures—forcing many in the largely rural state to travel long distances for more than one clinic visit. And right now lawyers for Planned Parenthood of the Heartland and the American Civil Liberties Union of Iowa are busy arguing a court case over these restrictions, pointing out that the waiting period puts an undue burden on poor women who can’t afford the travel or missed work. Waiting periods are one of the oldest tricks in the anti-choice book, but the clowns who oppose reproductive rights are still good at pulling out their old tricks along with all the new ones. Thanks to all of the legal eagles who keep up the fight against them! 
***

Florida Has the Chance to do This Right, Don’t Florida This, Florida!

MORE WAIT PROBLEMS! Meanwhile, FLORIDA is dealing with its own 24-hour mandatory waiting period for an abortion. That 2015 law has been put on hold by the Florida Supreme Court, but a judge is hearing arguments on it this week. Like even longer forced waits in other states, the law forces patients to make at least one extra trip to the clinic—for people who are hard-pressed for the time and money. Don’t let uterus-occupying bullies wait you out! Props to Gainsville Woman Care for taking this case on! 

***

 #WeShowUp – Rosé Salute To Illinois Activists 

TAKING ON THE GORE-GOYLES: What’s worse than an unwanted dick pick in your inbox? How about a bloody fetus on your commute? Yep, the nasty GORE-GOYLES who haunt busy intersections by waving bloody images of medical procedures were at it again, this time in Mokena, ILLINOIS. But once again they were met with SHEROIC counter-protesters who parried their SHOCK & SCHLOCK tactics with cold hard TRUTH! You can’t argue with a gory propaganda poster, but you can let the public know that there are people willing to stand up to this kind of intimidation and harassment. A huge shout out to everybody who is out there countering the gruesome message of the anti-choice ghouls! Let’s leave no gory fetus pic unanswered! 

***

VAGICAL UPDATE!

LPJL’s Pittsburgh stop means drinks with the Allegheny Reproductive Health Center was a blast. We love our Indie providers and we’re so lucky to be able to take them out for a burger and a beer – or maybe a few beers because it seems we uterus tattooed everything in sight.

 Today we take our first action in the CPC campaign AND DID IT LIVE ON FB to show folks how easy it is to make a difference!

Plus Jill Sobule comes today for A SECOND ACTION and for our Pittsburgh show tomorrow night!!  If you are in the Burgh, come and join us at Mr Smalls Wednesday, doors 7pm.

  

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 17th, 2017

The Reality of Those Super Fun “Vacation Abortions” Republicans Are Always Talking About

“MY LAST RESORT” is NOT about a VACATION! Anti-choice zealots love to talk about the supposed “vacation abortions” that women are getting when they are FORCED to travel to get vital medical care. As this article explains, every year about 3,000 women have to come to Illinois to get abortion care because their home states make access virtually impossible. And those are the ones who are lucky enough to have the means to take off work and travel! People need access to affordable abortion care in their own communities. One of the many stories in this article is about regret. Regret is part of any choice… or lack of choice. We can’t let extremists frame regret as a reason to deny people the freedom to choose.

***

Teen Pregnancy Is at It’s Lowest”- America, “Hold My Beer”- Trump

PERMANENT ABSTAIN: God only knows how many unplanned pregnancies the suddenly pious Donald Trump has caused in his repulsive past, but he’s determined to cause millions more—and now to America’s teens! This Day-Glo Disaster wants to cut over $200 million in funding for teen pregnancy prevention programs at the same time that he’s throwing $277 million at ABSTINENCE ONLY programs! Look, if anything can get people to swear off sex, it’s the thought of Donald Trump—but abstinence STILL doesn’t work!

***

We Don’t Need A Crystal Ball to See What Defunding Looks Like…We Have Texas!

CAUTIONARY FAIL! Texas conservatives, always at the forefront of any shitty idea, are now a cautionary tale about what happens when you defund Planned Parenthood, slash funding for family planning, and close 80 clinics. SURPRISE! You get more teen pregnancies… AND more abortions! The rate of teen births in Texas is up 3.4%, even as it’s falling in states with less medieval methods. A study estimates there have been 2,200 unplanned pregnancies because of the actions. Oh, and two years after the funding cuts, Texas abortion rates are up 4.9%. Thanks to former Gov. Rick Perry and conservative lawmakers, Texas is a mess!

***

Schools Out For Summer…Or Forever for Wisconsin OBGYNs

TRAINING WRECK: A new Republican bill in Wisconsin attacks abortion access by blocking the University of Wisconsin-Madison from training resident doctors in how to perform abortions. Of course that leads to a fucking domino-of-dickdom effect in which UW-Madison loses its accreditation for OB-GYN training, and OB-GYN’s-in-training leave the state. 20 of 72 counties in Wisconsin are already without an OB-GYN! The author of the bill hates the fact that Planned Parenthood pays UW doctors to train OB-GYN residents at local clinics… but of course they HAVE TO because Wisconsin law prohibits any state money from going toward anything remotely abortion. So this law makes it illegal for UW docs to train residents anywhere except at a hospital… where it’s against the existing law. And then it all causes the UW to lose their OB-GYN accreditation, and gynecologists flee the state. Who knew a cheese-head could come up with such a diabolical plan?

***

Blessed Motherf*ckin Be, Iowa’s Fight Against Insane Undue Burden Laws Start Today

LONG 3-DAYS’ JOURNEY INTO NIGHTMARE: Today marks the start of court hearings to see if Iowa’s new 3-day waiting period for an abortion is constitutional. These waiting periods are used to deter people from exercising their abortion rights—and they’re devastatingly effective in rural states like Iowa where patients have to travel long distances for multiple appointments. Don’t let Iowa get away with forcing people to wait for their rights.  Reproductive justice delayed is reproductive justice denied!

***

VAGICAL UPDATE!

NEXT UP- PITTSBURGH! We said goodbye to the wonderful Cleveland and arrived last night in PITTSBURGH ready for some action! Check Us out on City Paper’s Short List, so If you’re in town, get your ass down to  Mr. Smalls Funhouse on Wednesday July 19th! Doors at 7pm!

We pull out of Pittsburgh, and head off to Louisville for our LAST SHOW of the Vagical Mystery Tour on Saturday July 22nd. If you are in Louisville, join us for some bourbon and some Bevin Ball Bustin’!!  Get your tickets here!!

Stay tuned for more fun updates!

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 14th, 2017

Reading Between the Lines, Cecile Richards, “What the actual f*ck with this latest healthcare bill?”

SENATE HEALTHCARE BILL MITCH-SLAPS AMERICA!  Mitch McConnell’s new healthcare bill is even more of a kick in the uterus than the previous version. As Planned Parenthood’s Cecile Richards points out, the denial of funding for PP causes as many as 15 percent of low-income and rural women to lose access to everything from cancer screenings to birth control. Oh, and it will mean that as many as 13 million women lose maternity care. Mitch McConnell promises a lot with his shitty bill, but the things it’s guaranteed to deliver are more undetected cancer and more unintended pregnancies—the circle of life, GOP style!

***

When Republicans Jump In Fetus-First, Women Drown.

BIRTHRIGHT”s AND WRONGS: Now you can see everything we’ve been telling you about presented in cinematic splendor in a new documentary called “Birthright: A War Story” from filmmakers Civia Tamarkin and Luchia Fisher. It’s all about the continuous war on abortion rights and how that translates to a war on women. As Tamarkin says in this Salon interview “if you keep pushing a fetus-first mentality, women are going to be punished.” And as we say every day, anti-choice forces are doling out that punishment all the time in every state of the union and in countries all over the world. GET WOKE!

***

All Roads Lead to Abortion, Even Losing Net Neutrality Would Lead to Attack on Repro Rights

NET LOSSES: Think your reproductive rights aren’t bound up, intertwined, and dependent on all your other rights? Google it while you still can. Losing net neutrality could cripple the struggle for abortion rights. It would leave those fighting to organize for your rights exposed to the whims of internet providers—and leave everyone’s personal data at risk. If corporate internet service providers have control over what’s on your phones and computers, then they’ll eventually have more control over everything from your data to your uterus! Net neutrality IS Free Speech IS Abortion Rights—let them take anything that’s yours and you could lose everything that’s yours!

***

Woke Bae Canada says abortion is a “tool to end poverty”

OH, CANADA! OH YES! Our northern neighbor seems totally WOKE just when lots of the US.. is dazed and confused by anti-choice fakery and fuckery. Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s Minister of International Development, just called abortion “a tool to end poverty!!” Hear that, the rest of you FUCKING TOOLS down here? The Minister said we “have to give [women] the control over their lives. So we shouldn’t look at contraception as the objective. This is not the objective. This is only a tool to reduce poverty and inequality and to make an impact in terms of development and peace and security in the world.” It’s what we’ve always said—ABORTION RIGHTS ARE HUMAN RIGHTS. While the bloated yak that controls this country imposes global gag orders denying poor women reproductive autonomy, at least there are pockets on the North American continent where a little sanity survives. THANK YOU, CANADA!

***

Who Should Decide if I Get an Abortion: Me, myself, and..my family, my rapist, and my local law enforcement?

RAZORBACKWARDS! The ARKANSAS legislature seems to be running neck in neck in a race with neighboring nut-jobs in Missouri to see who can move backwards on abortion rights. Right now arguments are being heard in a court case over four unconstitutional anti-choice laws recently puked out by Arkansas lawmakers. The laws ban the safest and most common method of 2nd trimester abortion,  so-called “sex selection,” forces abortion patients under 18 to submit tissue samples to local law enforcement (!!!), and require providers to inform an abortion patient’s family, partner or rapist so they have can have a say in the disposal of the fetal remains. No wonder the symbol of Arkansas is a wild pig.

***

Once Again Religious Groups Worried They Will Have to Be Inclusive and Welcoming to Others

RULES? RULES ARE ONLY FOR OTHER PEOPLE! Just when you think they can’t get any worse, the conspiracy of dicks who are spewing anti-abortion laws at a special session of the MISSOURI legislature sink to another new low. One of the laws they’re crafting, bans cities from enacting or enforcing “any order, ordinance, rule, regulation, policy, or other similar measure that prohibits, restricts, limits, controls, directs, interferes with, or otherwise adversely affects an alternatives-to-abortion agency” or their staff. In other words So the same ass-wipes who pass TRAP laws to drown abortion clinics in regulations want to make it ILLEGAL for cities to pass ANY laws regulating phony “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” at all! Or anything that “adversely affects” a CPC! Abortion clinics can be shut down over their shrubbery choices, while CPC’s aren’t subject to any rules whatsoever.

***

That Moment When A 12 Year Old Knows Their Body Better Than a F*cking District Attorney

ALABAMA SHAMES: And finally, there’s ALABAMA, where a 12-year-old FINALLY got permission for an abortion after suffering statutory rape by a family member. This child doesn’t know who her father is, and had to be removed from her mother who reacted violently. She sought a waiver on Alabama’s parental consent law. Unbelievably, some Alabama district attorney actually objected. Thank God a judge approved the waiver. It’s this type of real nightmare scenario that reminds us why abortion rights and reproductive autonomy are so necessary in our society. Best wishes for this abused child, and shame on the DA who tried to stop her from alleviating her torment.

***

VAGICAL UPDATE!

You could call us sell outs and you wouldn’t be wrong after another SOLD OUT Vagical Mystery Tour stop in Cleveland! Thanks to Cleveland Scene Magazine for the shout out 😉 The room was packed with people ready to call out some of Ohio’s shitty politicians and the fact that 93% of Ohio counties are left without abortion providers. Well informed AND salty? Cleveland, you’re our kind of town.

Just TWO more chances to watch the Vagic happen live! Pittsburgh and Louisville, get READY.

#vagicalmysterytour Did you know 93% of counties in Ohio don't have an abortion provider??

A post shared by Planned Parenthood NEOH (@standwithppinneoh) on

 

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 13th, 2017

Another Birth Control Denier Religious Nut Has Joined Trump’s Health and Inhuman Services Shitshow

RANCID STUFFING: The anti-choice juggernaut of repression has taken a big step forward in filling the eviscerated carcass of the Department of Health and Human Services, with a toxic stuffing of abortion opponents. We’ve been telling you how the Trump forces have steadily harassed the career professionals out of HHS and replaced them with a bowl of nuts like Charmaine “Abortion Causes Breast Cancer” Yoest and Teresa “Birth control is a hoax” Manning. The latest addition is new HHS senior lawyer Matthew Bowman, who argued a Supreme Court case AGAINST the ACA birth control benefits the Department is now supposed to be administering. Bowman represented Conestoga Wood Specialties, Inc. in a case heard by the Supreme Court alongside the notorious Hobby Lobby case, where the litigants claimed the Obamacare contraception mandate violated their rights to impose their religious beliefs on their employees. Bowman did that work as part of the  Alliance Defending Freedom which unleashes hordes of soulless attorneys to attack reproductive and LGBTQ rights. This troll has also made claims that I.U.Ds cause abortions and that contraception spreads measles. He’ll have plenty to talk about with Charmaine Yoest in the HHS cafeteria.

***

“Aloha” Means Hello, Goodbye & Go Fuck Yourself To Anyone Who Wants to Lie About Pregnancy Options

AN ISLAND OF SANITY in the shark-infested waters of anti-choice lying, HAWAII has a new law requiring phony “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” to stop trying to trick pregnant people into thinking they don’t have options. Hawaii says that these nutteries have to post signs informing their customers/victims that the state offers “immediate free or low-cost access to comprehensive family planning services.” Of course, even that’s too much for the CPC’s. A lawyer from Alliance Defending Freedom (see the story above about one of their own now working at HHS!) says “Freedom of speech also means the freedom to not express views that would violate one’s conscience.” It doesn’t mean freedom to HIDE FACTS YOU REFUSE TO ACCEPT from people seeking medical care!

***

Gov. Greitens Will Continue His Anti-choice Special Session, No Matter What The Cost (Over $73,000, To Be Exact)

MONEY FOR (WORSE THAN) NOTHING: We’ve been following MISSOURI’s Satanic saturnalia of anti-abortion pig vomit. The Show Me shits in the statehouse have been holding a special session for the sole purpose of fucking with repro rights and gutting regulations against discrimination. And the good folks of Missouri are paying for it in more ways than one. So far, it’s actually cost them $73,000 to have their rights shredded. It’s not cheap to house and feed the hungry, hungry hypocrites in the MO legislature!

***

Iowa Congressman Steve ‘Cantaloupe Calves’ King Wants To Help Build Up The Border Wall, By Tearing Down Poor and Pregnant People

SHOCK AND YAWN! More from the Look-At-Me Lunatic Fringe. IOWA Congressman Steve “The Mad” King, in his never-ending quest to keep the rabid dogs of the far right barking, has come up with another of his “See how in-their-faces I am!” proposals/provocations. He wants to fund Trump’s border wall using (GASP!!) money taken away from Planned Parenthood and food stamp recipients (who he says are obese anyway.) Got it Steve! You’re a badass dude who’s sick of baby-killing feminists and uppity brown ingrates. Now, Steve King really is crazy, so it’s not an act. But it is a sad and tired performance that he seems unable to get booked anywhere outside of Iowa. Time to bring the curtain down!

***

VAGICAL UPDATE

CLEVELAND! TONIGHT IS THE NIGHT! The VAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR is taking over Mahall’s 20 Lanes!

Come out, bring a friend, and tell your friend to bring a friend!

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 12th, 2017

What’s Done in The Dark, Will Come to The Light (Because Mike Pence Will Tweet About It)

SECRET SUMMIT OF SUCK: Last week, Vice President and Resident Ghoul Mike Pence held a high-level meeting that was a virtual “Who’s Who” of the Anti-Abortion Hall of Shamelessness. There were movers and suckers from many of the major groups vying to infiltrate your uterus. One said, “We met with the Vice President to talk with him about our pro-life priorities for the healthcare bill.” So it should serve as a reminder that the P.O.S. “health care” bill the GOP is trying to force feed us will devastate reproductive rights, while depriving 22 million people of healthcare coverage (multi-anti-tasking!). But it won’t serve as a reminder of anything, because the event NEVER APPEARED on Pence’s daily schedule, was never formally announced, and the VP’s office refuses to answer questions about it, calling it “a private meeting” ABOUT PUBLIC POLICY – WITH THE VICE PRESIDENT! We only know about it from a photo tweeted so that the attendees could have a selfie of soullessness to send out! This health care bill is a disaster for everyone and even worse for abortion rights!

***

When It Comes to Accused Rapists, Betsy DeVos Says: “Let’s Hear Them Out!”

JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST. Sorry if that isn’t exactly witty, but this story is about the Secretary of Education meeting with accused rapists to get their input. Yes, THIS IS HAPPENING. Betsy DeVos FINALLY agreed to meet with advocacy groups for survivors of sexual assault, but she also scheduled equal time for those accused of sexual assault. AGAIN—REALLY! DeVos is meeting with “men’s rights” groups and others with agendas that oppose domestic violence laws, sue to stop women-only networking events, and advocate for accused rapists and assaulters with “ruined futures.” One of them excused woman-beater Ray Rice by saying “if she hadn’t aggravated him, she wouldn’t have been hit.” Thanks so much for your thoughts! Would you be kind enough to educate a Trump Cabinet official on your findings?” Say it with us: “JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST.”

***

Students Sue After High School Rejects Anti-Choice Glee Club

ASSAULT WITH A CLUB! That’s what a group of high schoolers want to do to their fellow students in Allentown, Pennsylvania. They wanted to bludgeon their classmates into moral purity with an anti-abortion club! Now they’re suing their school district because the district put some restrictions on fundraising and certain other activities. Ironically, the club was to be called “Trojans for Life,” even though one could assume that they frown on any contraceptive measures! And in any case, the estate of George Orwell owns the name “Junior Anti-Sex League.”

***

How Badly Does Texas Want to Get Rid of Abortion? “Cause More Abortions” Bad

BACKFIRE DEPARTMENT: File this under “What could possible go right?” After years of misguided and unconstitutional assaults on abortion rights in TEXAS, the number of teen abortions there has surged, even as it has dropped steadily elsewhere across America. Gee, who would have guessed that knee-capping a group called “Planned Parenthood” would lead to an increase in UN-PLANNED Parenthood!?! After Texas forcibly closed some 80 women’s health clinics, abortion rates for teenagers increased 3 percent, and those are just the reported cases. Also, in hard-hit rural areas, the increase was as much as 191 percent! Bottom line, attacking abortion rights doesn’t stop abortion, it just stops rights!

***

Life News Wants A Say in Your Uterus, and Melinda Gates’ Checkbook

NO GOOD DEED… goes un-lied about in the anti-choice, anti-woman tabloid media. Now they’re attacking Melinda Gates for generous and much-needed contributions to family planning across the globe – BECAUSE ABORTION. Gates has pledged an additional $375 million from her family’s foundation to providing effective family planning help to people in some of the world’s poorest countries. NOT A PENNY of Gate’s money is earmarked for abortion. But in the eyes of these nut-bags, any dollar spent helping anyone anywhere somehow translates to millions of “murdered babies.” You have to feel sorry for people whose hatred of reproductive rights is so extreme that it turns them against any and every effort to help people.

***

VAGICAL UPDATE!

If you’re in Ohio there’s good news, and there’s bad news.

The bad news? Abortion access in your state is FUCKED. The good news? THE VAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR HAS LANDED IN CLEVELAND! If you’re in the area, come out to Mahall’s 20 Lanes TOMORROW! Lizz Winstead, Aida Rodriguez, Joyelle Johnson, and Buzz Off, Lucille are all ready to deliver some laughs followed by a powerful talkback so that you can become informed on the many ways to help out your local abortion provider!

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 11th, 2017

Sweden-ing the Deal Post Global Gag Insanity!

Our friends in SWEDEN are helping to loosen the Trump-imposed “Global Gag Rule” by putting their Kronor where their mouth is. They’re giving money for family planning and safe abortion to organizations that are telling Trump to stuff it! The Gag Rule is invoked by Republican presidents—it prohibits U.S. funding to international healthcare organizations that even mention abortion. Well, Sweden is sweeting the pot by making $20 million available to organizations that refuse to follow Trump’s Gag Rule, and they’ll turn down sexual health care funding to any organizations that go along with Trump. THANK YOU, SWEDEN! JAASSS DROTTNING! (That’s Swedish for YAASSS QUEEN! Or as close as Google translate will allow.)

***

Toledo Sidewalk Sickos Might Soon Lose Their Freedom Of Sp- Oops, Freedom of Harassment

(UN)HOLY TOLEDO! Toledo, Ohio may soon tell anti-abortion holy rollers they can’t roll over other people’s rights anymore. The city is considering making it a misdemeanor to impede access to a healthcare facility—including Toledo’s only abortion clinic. Of course, screeching threats and harassment is a favorite tactic of “family values” types. The Toledo clinic reports people being harassed in the parking lot and being afraid to leave their cars. The law would create a 20 foot buffer zone. Of course, that’s too much for the Troll Squad, who say it impedes their “freedom of speech.” Ohio has seen too many clinics be shut down to allow these trolls to impede access to those that are still here!

***

The “Cocaine Mom Law” is The Most Cheese-dick Bullshit Ever

MUST BE SOMETHING IN THE CHEESE… The state of WISCONSIN is punishing pregnant people with addiction issues—and endangering them and their pregnancies in the process. BECAUSE PRO-LIFE! Wisconsin’s “Cocaine Mom Law” lets the state jail pregnant moms with a “habitual lack of self-control” if they pose a “substantial risk” to “the physical health of the unborn child.” BRILLIANT! This criminalizes motherhood and makes poor people LESS likely to seek prenatal care. It also HUMANIZES A FETUS. The 1997 law is currently under appeal but it’s still being enforced. One pregnant woman was thrown into jail and threatened with Tasers. She wasn’t given access to a lawyer, but one was appointed for her fetus! It all gets back to the “pro-life” LIES that value the fetus above the person carrying the fetus. If you want to support motherhood—THEN SUPPORT MOTHERS!

***

If Greg Abbott Gets His Way, It’ll Be Anti-Choice Monkey See, Anti-Choice Monkey Do

DON’T MESS WITH US, TEXAS! Not content with turning the great state of TEXAS into a barren wasteland of reproductive rights, now Texas Governor Greg Abbott wants the state to serve as a model for others to follow it off the conservo-cliff. Texas is asking for a waiver on Medicare and Medicaid that would allow its family planning programs to exclude any organization that provides abortion—which totally takes the “family planning” part out of “family planning”! And Texas Anti-Abortion Advocates want other states to copy this crap. HEY, ABBOTT! How about you AB-BUTT OUT of our uteri!

***

VAGICAL UPDATE!

Catch up with the gang on the home stretch of the Vagical Mystery Tour in this exclusive Facebook Live from the Northland Family Planning Center in Sterling Heights, Michigan!

LPJL Daily Takedown – July 10th, 2017

What’s Better than One Pro-Choice Techie? HUNDREDS OF THEM.  

ABORTION ACCESS? THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT! Lots of them, in fact, thanks to Emily Loen and the techies behind Hackathon.com in California. This band of gender diverse hack-stars gather to build tools and apps for abortion seekers and providers. And it’s working —BIG TIME! In just its second year, Abortion Access Hack-a-thon has gone from 20 participants to over 200. The next hackathon is being planned for this summer in Austin, TX. The fight for abortion rights has to be smart, aggressive, and cutting edge—and Emily is all of that by using tech to expand access!

***

A New Missouri Anti-Choice Bill Wants To Eliminate Abortions and Increase Ambulance Sirens

911—MISSOURI, WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM? The continuing saga of MISSOURI’s special legislative session to mess with abortion rights (Yes, that is really a thing!) continues to dredge up brand new schemes from the bottoms of the space where a decent human has a heart. The latest—making it a crime for an abortion clinic to request that an ambulance respond to a call from the clinic without sirens and lights. WTF? NOBODY—from a restaurant to a church wants flashing ambulance lights and sirens unless it’s necessary. And a clinic with patients undergoing treatment certainly wants to avoid alarming them. It’s completely up to ambulance personnel to decide what to do. So WHY SHOULD IT BE A CRIME FOR CLINIC TO JUST ASK for no lights and sirens? Especially when it’s not a crime for a burger joint or bar to make the same request?  

PICK ME! Pick me! Is it because it’s a law that is all about stigmatizing abortion? OF course it is! This Missouri special session is what needs an emergency response!

***

There Could Be Bumper-To-Bumper Resistance in California with New Pro-Choice License Plates!

IN WOMEN WE TRUST: CALIFORNIANS may soon have something good on their plates—special license plates in the state reading “CALIFORNIA TRUSTS WOMEN” would help to fund family-planning services for low-income people. The Family Planning, Access, Care, and Treatment Program provides family planning services to 1.8 million Californians every year—including funding for Planned Parenthood clinics. Anti-choice states are lousy with anti-abortion license plates that fund actual SCAMS like “Crisis Pregnancy Centers” that try to limit the choices of people looking for family planning services. The bill is working its way through the CA legislature. They’ll need 7,500 pre-paid orders for the plates to be issued, so step up California!

***

A Gang of Anti-Choice Goons Praise Mike Pence for Ruining People’s Lives

DISCREDIT WHERE DISCREDIT IS DUE: Anti-choice nut-wads in INDIANA are heaping praise on their KING NUT-WAD, Mike Pence, “crediting” him with a drop in the abortion rate during his time as governor. OK, first off, all experts agree that declining abortion rates are mostly due to better family planning and contraceptive availability—both of which the PENCER opposes. Of course, he DID prevent a lot of people from exercising their reproductive rights, but he did that with a combination of TRAP laws targeting clinics and shoveling millions of dollars to bogus Crisis Pregnancy Centers—funded with “Choose Life” state license plates. Now this simpering silverback Pence is in a position to impose his puritan puke on women all over the country. Mike Pence: Shitty for Indiana, Shittier for America.

VAGICAL UPDATE!

There are two words that best describe last night’s show in the Motor City — SOLD. OUT!

The Vagical Mystery Tour took over the Magic Bag and the laughs were ENDLESS!

What would a visit to Michigan be without the incredible LISA BROWN in attendance?!

If you didn’t know, Lisa is the SHERO responsible for the name “LADY PARTS JUSTICE LEAGUE.”

And Today, we’ve been hanging out all day with our friends at Northland Family Planning!

We delivered some Rosé & sweet treats for the end of their work day, which resulted in the best damn abortion clinic recovery room chat EVER.

NEXT STOP: CLEVELAND!