My Body Is Not a Wedge Issue

Things that are wedges: Shoes, cheese, and doorstops.

Things that are not: MY BODY.

This is a truth that Bernie Sanders, Democratic Committee Chair, Tom Perez and way too many politicians seem to not understand.  

We need to wake them the fuck up because it’s exhausting enough fighting the anti abortion extremists, and unless we school the male leadership in the Democratic Party who seemed to have missed every fucking economic memo involving this issue we will be in and endless game of misogyny Whack-A-Mole.

Cut to yesterday. Bernie Sanders, Tom Perez, and Congressman Keith Ellison, led this continuing parade of economic ignorance with something they cooked up called the Come Together, Fight Back campaign, which appears to mean, “come together” if your economic realities sell other economic realities down the river.

Yep. In an attempt for the Democratic Party to Woo Back Red, Rural America, by talking about- wait for it- economic issues, these Democrats have come out hard for Omaha Mayoral candidate, Heath Mello – a “progressive” politician who:

(Thanks, Heath!)

Sit down ladies and shut your Wedge-Litmus- Special interest- hole, because Heath is a… sigh.

(file under: YIKES)

This is no joke. According to the Center for Reproductive Rights, Nebraska is actually SO vulnerable that if Trump gets his way and abortion access goes to the states, Nebraska could be at risk of losing total abortion access.

But hey, Democrats are all about the economic interests of rural red staters AMIRITE?   

Imma say this LOUD:


Being able to choose when and if you want a family, is the first and most important decision anyone will make on the path to economic freedom. This is crucial to equality, yet the DNC leadership has backed Indiana Senator, Joe Donnelly and Pennsylvania Senator, Bob Casey despite their anti-abortion stance because Litmus! Wedge! Special Interest! Sexism!

Democrats claim to be a “pro-choice” party yet has been far too WILLING to compromise our access to reproductive choices – on a false, misguided notion that reproductive freedom is a *special interest issue* that has no place in economic debates.



The is no such thing as being “somewhat”  pregnant, so how can you have “some” reproductive rights? And yet this is what keeps happening over and over again.

So wouldn’t the smart, fair, reasonable economic decision be to make reproductive rights a central component of your so-called progressive, economic-focused mission?

The answer is, “yes” and let this be a notice to any politician who is uncompromising in compromising on the human rights of women and people who get pregnant- LPJL will be there to force you to answer for it. FULL STOP.

My body is not a wedge issue. My body is not a litmus test. My body is not an interest group. My body is not a purity test. My body is not a compromise.


Smoke em’ If You Got em’

Alabama lawmakers are trying to make YOUR womb the “safest place in the world.” Right now, two very dangerous anti-choice bills are being voted on and you NEED to know about them! Other states are starting to vote on similar bills and it could reach YOUR state before you can compose a tweet complaining that Julia Roberts was named People’s Most Beautiful Person (in the world).

Here’s what you need to know:

HB95 (Health Care Rights of Conscience Act) is a bill that would let pharmacists refuse to sell you birth control or Plan B (emergency contraception) because of their religious beliefs. It also allows doctors to refuse abortion care because it ‘violates their conscience.”

Alabama’s separation of church and state has us all “Here’s the church, here’s the steeple… look inside… Alabama’s run by crazy people.”

HB98 is a constitutional amendment that allows the citizens of Alabama to vote on “taking away your federally protected constitutional right to an abortion.” Basically, in the event that Roe v. Wade is overturned and abortion law decisions go back to the states, HB98 will make abortion completely illegal in the state of Alabama.

If this bill is passed, ‘The Heart of Dixie’ will turn into ‘The Heart of Darkness.’

You can thank Rep. Matt Fridy (R-Alabama), Rep. Arnold Mooney (R-Indian Springs) and Senator Paul L. Sanford (R-Huntsville) for their unwanted public service by sponsoring these bills. Rep. Fridy said, “When Roe goes abortion goes back to the states. We are going to be ready to do our job and outlaw abortion in Alabama. The womb for women in this state will be the safest place in the world. A lot of people don’t like what we are doing and they are throwing up roadblocks.”

Anti-choice “activist” Hannah Ford said, “These bills and the fact that we have a day set aside for them is amazing; we need to be as encouraging and supportive as possible for our representatives who face a barrage of opposition by way of phone calls and emails. Our presence Thursday will be a huge encouragement to them to keep pushing for the complete eradication of abortion and the protection of human life in the State of Alabama.”

If this doesn’t make you want to 4/20 hard, we don’t know what will!

WATCH the vote happening right now on the Alabama Senate floor!!!

And if you’re in Alabama, TAKE ACTION!

Un-Reality TV

If you’re looking for an escape from reality, check out how television treats abortion–because it has even less relationship to real life than Game of Thrones, Westworld, or Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

As shown in a recent study from the reproductive health research organization Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health, abortions on TV result in serious complications 42.5% of the time. That’s more than 20 times the rate of health problems that occur during real life abortion procedures. And it gets even more unreal: 5% of abortion patients on TV die–6,850 times the actual mortality rate for abortion procedures!! In 80 abortion plots that aired between 2005 and 2016, four characters died. In the much-safer real world, 0.00073 percent of abortion patients die.

And yeah, we’re talking about fiction, we know. But these radically skewed numbers have consequences. As an article in Slate discussing the findings put it, “TV shows that turn a routine medical service into a life-threatening risk are shaping the way millions of Americans imagine a procedure they know very little about.”

For instance: a Vox poll showed that 68% of respondents disagreed that abortion is “very safe.” In fact, it’s safer than giving birth–but only 19% of people knew that. Only 9 percent know that abortion is safer than a colonoscopy.

In 2015, ABC’s Scandal broke the mold by showing Olivia Pope actually undergoing a routine and safe abortion procedure. But in real life, the drama around abortion involves the struggle to get one.

Despite the dangers of abortions in TV-land, actually getting an abortion on the small screen is a cakewalk compared to what people have to go through in real life. A study in Feminism & Psychology found that on TV, “obstacles to abortion access are shown as easily overcome.” TV shows routinely “communicate that abortion is relatively easy to access.” Tell that to residents of Kentucky, who are desperately fighting to keep their last abortion clinic open.

Help LPJL spread the facts about abortion, so that we can appreciate the fiction for what it is.

Help Aunt Sam Win The War… on Reproductive Rights

What a week! Jesus rose, we roséd, and America collectively hurried to finish our taxes by today. Now we can all take a much needed nap and dream about all the wonderful things our tax dollars will be used for. Like infrastructure, small businesses, safe and legal aborti-


Oh wow, for a moment there it looked like you were dreaming that federal tax dollars could in any way go to support abortion. That’s a pipe dream that’s been dead since 1976 when the Hyde Amendment was first introduced which stipulated that NO federal money could ever go to abortion. But as you may recall, in one of Obama’s goodbye gestures of love to all the repro health lovers out there, he signed a rule last year stating that Title X funds could not be restricted from family planning providers for any reason other than failure to provide those services effectively. I didn’t mean to get your hopes up. Enter Trump.

He has now straight up reversed this rule, signing into law a provision that says that clinics that provide abortions as one of its many helpful services can now be denied federal funding. It allows states to withhold public funds to any group that includes abortion as part of it’s family planning and repro health services.  Reminder, tax money already couldn’t go towards abortion services, this law now allows states to cut funding towards other procedures if abortion services are offered at that clinic.

The nightmare that is Trump continues to invade our progressive dreams as he does everything in his power to dismantle the legacies of Obama. But we here at Lady Parts Justice League have a suggestion on how you can fight back with your money…
Take the cash from your tax refund and donate it to Lady Parts Justice League’s Vagical Mystery Tour!  A USO-style tour where we go around the country visiting and supporting the very places that this law is trying to put out of business. Let’s make it our business to keep them around. The lives and health of millions depend on it. Also, won’t it be fun to take the only thing that Trump will ever love and use it against him?

Time to FLAKE OUT!


After Donald Trump signed a bill into law that allowed states to deny Title X funding to family-planning centers that provide abortion, Arizona Senator Jeff Flake held a town hall where he tried to defend his support for the bill. And he got confronted by a 16-year-old girl who delivered a TOTAL SMACKDOWN.

You can watch it here, but the girl’s ass-kickery is too epic not to show in its entirety. Here’s what she said in full:

“Jeff Flake, my name is Deja Foxx and I’m a 16-year-old from Tucson. began. I just want to state some facts. So, I’m a young woman, and you’re a middle-aged man. I’m a person of color, and you’re white. I come from a background of poverty, and I didn’t always have parents to guide me through life. You come from privilege, so, I’m wondering, as a Planned Parenthood patient and someone who relies on Title X, who you are clearly not, why it’s your right to take away my right to choose Planned Parenthood and to choose no-co-pay birth control, to access that. So, if you can explain that to me, I would appreciate it.”

Game. Set. Match.

But Flake flustered back with some flakery about not being privileged and “What I want is to make sure that everyone can realize the American dream.” So right. He was saying “HIT ME ONE MORE TIME.” And Deja Foxx shot him back down with “Why would you deny me the American dream?” AND THE CROWD GOES NUTS!

It was a beautiful moment, but the actions that led up to it are typically ugly. H.J. Res 43 is  supported by Flake and was signed into law by Trump the very day that Deja out Foxxed Flake.  The bill allows states to deny Title X funding for things like cancer screenings and birth control to any organization or health care center that also provides abortion services.

The Title X program serves 36,000 people (the vast majority being poor women) just in Flakes’ state of Arizona, according to the Phoenix New Times. The Arizona Family Health Program estimates that, without Title X, the teen pregnancy rate in Arizona would increase by 22 percent while the rates of pregnancy, unplanned birth, and abortion would go up 27 percent.
What kind of Flake would want that sort of thing to happen? Senator Jeff Flake is rated at 100 percent by the National Right to Life Committee and 0 percent by NARAL, the National Abortion and Reproductive Rights Action League. SHEROS like Deja Foxx get a 100% rating from LPJL!

X Marks The Crock

Orange 45 just signed a bill into law that allows states to withhold federal Title X family planning funding to health facilities if they provide abortions.


It means that people seeking not only abortion care, but cancer screenings, STI testing, birth control and prenatal care will most likely not be able to access it in states that are ruled by anti-choice maniacs. COUGH – Matt Bevin (KY). COUGH – John Kasich (OH). COUGH – Greg Abbott (TX). Independent abortion providers and health facilities that happen to also provide abortions are going to suffer and who does this disproportionately affect the most? Low-income women of color and people without health insurance living in rural areas. This is discriminatory and so F*CKED UP!

What’s even more shitty about all of this is that federal money was NEVER ALLOWED TO FUND ABORTIONS ANYWAY because of the Hyde Amendment. Now even more millions of federal dollars could potentially be allocated to health facilities like Crisis Pregnancy Centers (CPC’s), which are anti-choice ‘facilities’ that dissuade people from getting abortions and spread lies that end up hurting women. READ UP on these CPC’s – they are dangerous and may now be receiving YOUR tax dollars.

There are people being vocal about this horrible law.

The Executive Director of the Abortion Care Network (ACN), Nikki Madsen, writes, “Playing politics with these essential health services and reducing the number of clinics providing reproductive health care is unjust and means many people may not get the health care they need.”

Surprisingly, two republican senators voted against the original bill, but unsurprisingly, they’re both WOMEN. Sen. Susan Collins (ME) said, “We’re talking about federal family planning funds and I don’t think that those funds should be subjected to state restrictions.” Shout out to Sen. Lisa Murkowski (AK) who said that “men and women should have access to the family planning and reproductive health services they need, including cancer tests and health screenings.”

The President of Emily’s List (an organization supporting Democratic females for political office who support abortion), Stephanie Schriock, said “We won’t stand for it!”


So what is the biggest argument someone would have in favor for this decision? You might’ve heard the hit classic “MY TAXES SHOULDN’T PAY FOR OTHER PEOPLE’S ABORTIONS!” It has been topping the anti-choice billboard charts in red-states everywhere. BUT FACT TIME! Because of the Hyde Amendment, federal funds already cannot be used for abortion. Below is a special crash-course on it for your viewing pleasure (feel free to drop in the mentions of your favorite ‘abortion tax’ conspirator).

Following the recent news, Nikki Madsen from the Abortion Care Network wrote a quick piece that highlights MANY of the reasons allowing states to withhold Title X will be a nightmare.

SPOILER ALERT – if you’re young, rural, or a minority THE NIGHTMARE IS YOURS!

The clinics LPJL plans to visit during the ‘VAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR‘ are just a few of the many that will suffer substantially if their state accept B.I.C’s shit-bucket challenge. You can DONATE to the Tour so that we can provide them the best outreach and comedy show they’ve ever seen!


It’s not only Sean Spicer making horrible Holocaust analogies this week. Anti-abortion extremists do it every day.

Let the hate parade begin!

America’s anti-choice sweetheart, Mike Huckabee, has made this ridiculous comparison before saying that when Nazi’s began to exterminate Jewish people, “educated scientists, sophisticated and cultured people looked the other way because they thought it didn’t touch them. “This is why every person must get involved – you have to stand up and speak up or this is what can happen,” he said. “Once a culture begins to devalue human life, it begins to deteriorate.” #FunFact: Once a culture becomes a probiotic, you can poop better!

Next up, Personhood USA! This extremist group made a video saying things like, “Saying it’s OK to choose is the same thing as saying it’s OK for Hitler to choose.” The “film” (if you can call a piece of lying garbage a film), shows very graphic footage of the actual Holocaust from WWII, and does several man-on-the-street interviews where the evangelical pastor, Ray Comfort tries to persuade people into saying that abortion is the same thing. #FunFact: Ray Comfort teamed up with Kirk Cameron and a banana to disprove evolution.

Oh, and if you want subtle abortion/holocaust references, the group Survivors of the Abortion Holocaust may be your thing. They believe that anyone born after January 22nd, 1973 (When Roe vs. Wade was passed)  is a “survivor of the American abortion holocaust.” They “recognize the urgency of this war,” and go on to state their mission, which is to “encourage and empower the youth of today as they dare to rise up against the slaughter of innocent children through abortion” and “engage in a battle to end America’s genocide.” #FunFact: I have no fun fact here; it’s just awful.

You may not call him an extremist (or talented), but he certainly has the spotlight because he’s the host of ‘America’s Got an Extremist Shithead.’ Nick Cannon! Nick went on the radio in November and said “Hillary was sneaking and cheating, think of all the stuff they did with Planned Parenthood.” “That type of stuff is to take our community and – forget gentrification, it’s real genocide. And it’s been like that for years.”

Even our neighbors to the North had a recent incident. During a mandatory Grade 10-12 religion class, students at a Canadian Catholic High School were forced to watch a presentation given by a woman from an anti-choice group in the area including this horrible video, “The Case Against Abortion, Personhood.” It starts out by philosophising about what ‘personhood’ is and then around the 1.20 mark abruptly starts talking about the Auschwitz death camp and Hitler’s “scheme by which severely disabled children could be murdered.” The subtitles continue with, “Then once the war began, this killing was extended to disabled adults as well (and then to all ‘unwanted’ persons’).” You start to see what they’re ridiculously grasping at.

What drives all of these people on their quest for anti-choice douchebaggery? Most of the time, religion. And even MORE most of the time; Catholicism. The Catholic Media Coalition is a group of “Catholic writers, webmasters, editors, and others engaged in producing media for and about the Catholic Church.” In one article they state, “How many Christians today are doing the same thing in regard to the Abortion Holocaust?” In reference to Hitler’s Holocaust they say, “It is happening all over again in America with abortion.”

At the end of the day, NO ONE should be making Holocaust comparisons, especially anti-choice creeps spreading lies!


Louisiana TRAPS Another Victim

The thing about TRAPS is that they’re hard to avoid when they’re everywhere. And vicious TRAP laws (Targeted Regulation of Abortion Providers) designed to shut down clinics with impossible-to-comply-with rules and regulations are as ubiquitous across the South as a kudzu vine. If you manage to avoid one TRAP, you find yourself snared by another.

Yesterday we told you about the good news in Kentucky where the state’s LAST ABORTION CLINIC will remain open for now, thanks to a reprieve from a federal judge.

But when it comes to abortion rights, every time a door stays open, some asshole tries to shut two windows. The latest sound of a TRAP slamming shut comes from Louisiana, where we just lost one of ONLY FOUR abortion clinics in a state of over 4 and a half million people!  

This most recent clinic to succumb to TRAP harassment was Bossier City Medical Suite in northwest Louisiana. According to state records, it was run by the same company that operated a suburban New Orleans clinic that was forced to shutter last year. Now the only remaining clinics in the entire state are in New Orleans, Baton Rouge, and Shreveport.

Louisiana lawmakers are definitely not friendly to abortion-seekers whatsoever. The state requires a 72-hour waiting period after mandatory in-person “counseling,” a ban on the most common second-trimester abortion procedure, and mandatory ultrasounds. Oh, and it’s illegal to sell vibrators.

Obviously, the deprived people of Louisiana could use a few laughs. But the assault on abortion rights is so widespread that Lady Parts Justice League’s upcoming Vagical Mystery Tour won’t be visiting the Bayou State, despite going to 15 other states where clinics are also under assault.

It seems like TRAP laws are everywhere–and LPJL wants to be there too. Help us expand our reach and donate!